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Nowadays online shopping is extremely popular. What impact does it have on the environmental and people? Who lost their jobs because of it? v.3

Nowadays online shopping is extremely popular. What impact does it have on the environmental and people? Who lost their jobs because of it? v. 3
It is true that online shopping has become a norm in the society these days; however, there is a controversial debate regarding the long-term consequences of this trend on the environment and unemployed people, who lost their jobs due to this widespread phenomenon. This essay will discuss possible impacts on both the environment and people. Online shopping has adverse effects on the environment by changing the pattern of behaviors among consumers. In fact, online shopping makes purchases more convenient, which indirectly leads to consumerism with people over purchase unnecessary products. Before, individuals were restricted to purchase from local stores, which were mostly provided limited products; however, by the advent of the technology and emerge of prestigious websites such as Amazon or Alibaba, there are countless choices available for costumers in even inaccessible locations. The availability and convenience as well as different marketing schemes on these websites, such as purchasing in bulk, fast delivery or fake discount, have encouraged people to buy unnecessary products. After all, the environment must absorb mounting wastes produced by the new consumer culture. This trend also has a negative effect on local businesses. Firstly, local shops must close their shops since they could not compete with online shops which offer wide range of products at a better price. Therefore, not only local business owners would lose their investment in their establishment, but also workers would lose their job, leading to an increase in the unemployment rate in those locations. Secondly, these shops were a place that local business, such as farmers or artists, could sell their products. Closing these shops would lead to devastating effects on local businesses, and force unemployed people to relocate from small towns to big cities in search of jobs. Overall, the long-term effects of online shopping are negative both on the environment, by encouraging people to buy more products, and on people, especially on local business which lose their customers.
It is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has become a norm in the society these days;
however
, there is a controversial debate regarding the long-term consequences of this trend on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
and unemployed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, who lost their jobs due to this widespread phenomenon. This essay will discuss possible impacts on both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has adverse effects on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
by changing the pattern of behaviors among consumers. In fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
more convenient, which
indirectly
leads to consumerism with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
over
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
unnecessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
, individuals
were restricted
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
stores, which were
mostly
provided limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
;
however
, by the advent of the technology and emerge of prestigious websites such as Amazon or Alibaba, there are countless choices available for costumers in even inaccessible locations. The availability and convenience
as well
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
marketing schemes on these websites, such as purchasing in bulk,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
delivery or fake discount, have encouraged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
unnecessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
After all
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
absorb mounting wastes produced by the new consumer culture.

This trend
also
has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
close their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
since they could not compete with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
which offer wide range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
at a better price.
Therefore
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
owners would lose their investment in their establishment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
workers would lose their job, leading to an increase in the unemployment rate in those locations.
Secondly
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
were a place that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
, such as farmers or artists, could sell their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. Closing these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
would lead to devastating effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
, and force unemployed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to relocate from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
towns to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities in search of jobs.

Overall
, the long-term effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
both on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
, by encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, and on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
which lose their customers.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
43Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays online shopping is extremely popular. What impact does it have on the environmental and people? Who lost their jobs because of it? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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