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Nowadays online shopping is extremely popular. Discuss the impact of it on the environment and on people who lost their jobs because of it. v.12

Nowadays online shopping is extremely popular. Discuss the impact of it on the environment and on people who lost their jobs because of it. v. 12
In the modern world, online shopping is gaining popularity, because of its convenience and simplicity. However, this tendency has negative impact on the surrounding world, as well as on the job market, because many employees can lose their jobs. There is no denying that due to the high density of importing goods through the countries and regions, the environment can be polluted by the toxic emissions of cars and planes. It is true that in order to transport items, manufacturers use a wide range of transportation systems, such as ships, trucks and planes. In this regard, they are polluting the surrounding world, because many customers are willing to purchase goods through the internet and websites. A good illustration of this is the Amazon, which is a worldwide prosperous online platform. Although this company is making delivering process more easily for customers, they are polluting the environment. On the other hand, although online purchasing goods are essential for economic growth, because it can raise commodity circulation, this trend negatively affects the labour market. It is widely known that many employees, such as taxi drivers, shop assistants and entrepreneurs, have lost their jobs, because of online trading. That is to say, this tendency can lead to the growth of unemployment rate. For example, in many countries, such as USA, Germany and UK, where this trend is developed, the unemployment rate is increasing. In conclusion, although online trade can raise commodity circulation, and economy, this tendency is detrimental for the employees, who works in the service industry. In addition, the environment can be polluted.
In the modern world,
online
shopping is gaining popularity,
because
of its convenience and simplicity.
However
, this tendency has
negative
impact on the surrounding world,
as well
as on the job market,
because
many
employees can lose their jobs.

There is no denying that due to the high density of importing
goods
through the countries and regions, the environment can
be polluted
by the toxic emissions of cars and
planes
. It is true that in order to transport items, manufacturers
use
a wide range of transportation systems, such as ships, trucks and
planes
. In this regard, they are polluting the surrounding world,
because
many
customers are willing to
purchase
goods
through the internet and websites. A
good
illustration of this is the Amazon, which is a worldwide prosperous
online
platform. Although this
company
is making delivering process more
easily
for customers, they are polluting the environment.

On the other hand
, although
online
purchasing
goods
are essential for economic growth,
because
it can raise commodity circulation, this trend
negatively
affects the
labour
market. It is
widely
known that
many
employees, such as taxi drivers, shop assistants and entrepreneurs, have lost their jobs,
because
of
online
trading.
That is
to say, this tendency can lead to the growth of unemployment rate.
For example
, in
many
countries, such
as USA
, Germany and UK, where this trend
is developed
, the unemployment rate is increasing.

In conclusion
, although
online
trade can raise commodity circulation, and economy, this tendency is detrimental for the employees, who works in the service industry.
In addition
, the environment can
be polluted
.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays online shopping is extremely popular. Discuss the impact of it on the environment and on people who lost their jobs because of it. v. 12

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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