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Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects in university in many countries. What are the reasons for this problem? What are the effects on the society? v.3

Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects in university in many countries. What are the reasons for this problem? What are the effects on the society? v. 3
In recent years, we have seen an alarming increase of students who do not decide on studying science education, such as mathematics, physics and chemistry. This essay will analyse several reasons for this tendency and how it affects on society. To begin with, there are two considerable reasons why young people do not select science subject as a major. Firstly, these subjects seem to be more difficult and abstract than others. For instance, my best friend who is getting a final exam on mathematics has to memorize various abstract formulas and complicated equations. This may eventually result in pupils easily give up on science curriculum. Secondly, the prospect for graduate jobs is an important factor contributing to this phenomenon. It is the truth fact that scientists cannot find a well-paid job compared with businessman and interpreters. When it comes to the effects of this issue, it has some considerable impacts on society. First of all, the number of scientific experts is not enough for demand of basic research. Additionally, research institutions will encounter the difficulty of recruiting a sufficient number of qualified new entrants. On top of that, because of the shortfall of scientists or engineers and the redundant jobs in other fields could lead to an imbalance in the job market. For example, a recent poll by the UK government found that 70% of the people who want to study linguistics and lawyers, and 30% for the rest tended to choose careers related to science. Therefore, this could have serious influence on the sustainable development of many nations in the world. In conclusion, it is clear that there are various reasons why people do not choose science major, and the government should take steps to deal with this problem.
In recent years, we have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
an alarming increase of students who do not decide on studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
education, such as mathematics, physics and chemistry. This essay will
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
several reasons for this tendency and how it affects on society.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are two considerable reasons why young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not select
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
subject as a major.
Firstly
, these subjects seem to be more difficult and abstract than others.
For instance
, my best friend who is getting a final exam on mathematics
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
memorize various abstract formulas and complicated equations. This may
eventually
result in pupils
easily
give up on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
curriculum.
Secondly
, the prospect for graduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor contributing to this phenomenon. It is the truth fact that scientists cannot find a well-paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
compared with businessman and interpreters.

When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to the effects of this issue, it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
considerable impacts on society.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the number of scientific experts is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for demand of basic research.
Additionally
, research institutions will encounter the difficulty of recruiting a sufficient number of qualified new entrants.
On top of that
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the shortfall of scientists or engineers and the redundant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
in other fields could lead to an imbalance in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
market.
For example
, a recent poll by the UK
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
found that 70% of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who want to study linguistics and lawyers, and 30% for the rest tended to choose careers related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
.
Therefore
, this could have serious influence on the sustainable development of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nations in the world.

In conclusion
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that there are various reasons why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
major, and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should take steps to deal with this problem.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects in university in many countries. What are the reasons for this problem? What are the effects on the society? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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