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Nowadays museums and historical sites are visited mainly by foreign tourists rather than by locals. Why is this happening? What can be done to get locals to visit museums and historical sites more often? v.4

Nowadays museums and historical sites are visited mainly by foreign tourists rather than by locals. Why is this happening? What can be done to get locals to visit museums and historical sites more often? v. 4
Over the past few decades, Museum tourism becomes a prevailing concern in the significant part of the world. However, a sea change has been witnessed that most tourists were broadly interested in visiting museums throughout the world rather than the locals in the past. The following paragraphs would elucidate possible reasons for the problem and propose a handful of remedial measure. To commence with the reasons, First and foremost, residents are not enthusiastic about museums which are located nearby their house, although passionate about other museums far away neighbourhood actually. That is way, go to the museum as an entertain takes place just once or two times a year. Individuals prefer meeting a new attractive museum or other places amazing. For example, will you travel to tourist traps like Paris, you will definitely pay a visit to popular museums located but you tend to have considerable experience instead of tedious sites. It is clear that a local place such as museums fail to gain the local attention under this circumstance. Undoubtedly, every lock has a key, so some possible solution should be implemented. The local government does not pay attention to reconstruct historical places. As a result, these places as symbols of a city or country are devastated during the years. Rearranging resorts absorb not only visitors but also the local inhabitant. For instance, the governors in terms of public budget extend these tourist resorts for young people significantly who spend their time out in the evening while historical sites are closed about four to five o’clock in the afternoon. On the other hand, developing the resorts draw more visitor to both these cities and countries that improve the growth of economy named tourist industry. In conclusion, I would like to state that, Government and individuals, both should step forward together in order to gain the local interest back. I hope the local respect to such places as these had been their cultural sign from past generations.
Over the past few decades,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museum
tourism becomes a prevailing concern in the significant part of the world.
However
, a sea
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
has
been witnessed
that most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
were
broadly
interested in visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
throughout the world
rather
than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
in the past. The following paragraphs would elucidate possible reasons for the problem and propose a handful of remedial measure.

To commence with the reasons,
First
and foremost, residents are not enthusiastic about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
which
are located
nearby their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
, although passionate about other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
far away
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
actually.
That is
way, go to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
as
After 'an', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'entertain' is correct. If 'entertain' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
an entertain
takes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
once or two times a year. Individuals prefer meeting a new attractive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
or other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
amazing.
For example
, will you travel to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
traps like Paris, you will definitely pay a visit to popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
located
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
you tend to have considerable experience
instead
of tedious sites. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
fail to gain the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
attention under this circumstance.

Undoubtedly
, every lock has a key,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
possible solution should
be implemented
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
does not pay attention to reconstruct historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
As a result
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
as symbols of a city or country
are devastated
during the years. Rearranging resorts absorb not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
visitors
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
inhabitant.
For instance
, the governors in terms of public budget extend these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
resorts for young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
significantly
who spend their time out in the evening while historical sites
are closed
about four to five o’clock in the afternoon.
On the other hand
, developing the resorts draw more visitor to both these cities and countries that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the growth of economy named
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
industry.

In conclusion
, I would like to state that,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
and individuals, both should step forward together in order to gain the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
interest back. I hope the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
respect to such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
as these had been their cultural
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
from past generations.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Nowadays museums and historical sites are visited mainly by foreign tourists rather than by locals. Why is this happening? What can be done to get locals to visit museums and historical sites more often? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
327 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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