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Nowadays museums and historical sites are visited mainly bu foreign tourists rather than by locals. Why is this happening? What can be done to get locals to visit museums and historical sites more often? v.2

Nowadays museums and historical sites are visited mainly bu foreign tourists rather than by locals. Why is this happening? What can be done to get locals to visit museums and historical sites more often? v. 2
Although bitter, but it must be admitted that local heritage sites and museums are mostly seen by foreign travellers than by citizens of the county. This is mainly due to lack of interest and high entrance fees. But there are several result-oriented remedies if implemented can reconcile the phenomenon to a greater extent. Focusing on the reasons, the foremost argument for citizens to avoid visiting heritage and museums is the lack of curiosity to visit. In other words, since the vivid mythology and crucial aspects of these sites are conveyed to local people by their ancestors, local citizens are less interested. For example, according to a recent survey in northern India, although Golden Temple, a famous historical site in Punjab was visited by more than 1 million foreign travellers in a year, it attracted only a thousand local human beings. Another significant issue is that there are entry fees for almost all the museums and heritage sites. This factor resists individual to visit these well-known places. Suggesting the solutions to how local individuals can be attracted to visit famous local historic sites and museums. One way to tackle this issue is by organizing not only various knowledge-based seminars; but also vivid theme quiz games. To be precise, conducting some activities like games and seminars will encourage local people to participate and visit renowned museums. Another valid way to solve this issue is by reducing the price of the entry ticket for local people. This will encourage them to visit and gain knowledge practically which was inherited to local individuals from their ancestors. For example, when local authorities reduced the entrance ticket price for local individuals by 20% of Taj Mahal, one of the Seven Wonders of the World in northern India, it attracted 40% more local visitors. In conclusion, despite the fact that local human beings avoid visiting famous heritage sites and museums, if the local authorities and desired caretakers, who are responsible to manage these sites take concreted actions, these problems can be solved to a greater extent.
Although bitter,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be admitted
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heritage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
are
mostly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
by foreign
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
than by citizens of the county. This is
mainly
due to lack of interest and high entrance fees.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
there are several result-oriented remedies if implemented can reconcile the phenomenon to a greater extent.

Focusing on the reasons, the foremost argument for citizens to avoid visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heritage
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
is the lack of curiosity to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
.
In other words
, since the vivid mythology and crucial aspects of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
are conveyed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
by their ancestors,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
citizens are less interested.
For example
, according to a recent survey in northern India, although Golden Temple, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
site
in Punjab
was visited
by more than 1 million foreign
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
in a year, it attracted
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a thousand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
human beings. Another significant issue is that there are entry fees for almost all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heritage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
. This factor resists
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
these well-known places.

Suggesting the solutions to how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
can
be attracted
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
historic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
. One way to tackle this issue is by organizing not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
various knowledge-based seminars;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
vivid theme quiz games. To be precise, conducting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
activities like games and seminars will encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to participate and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
renowned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
. Another valid way to solve this issue is by reducing the price of the entry ticket for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. This will encourage them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
and gain knowledge
practically
which
was inherited
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
from their ancestors.
For example
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
authorities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the entrance ticket price for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
by 20% of Taj Mahal, one of the Seven Wonders of the World in northern India, it attracted 40% more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
visitors.

In conclusion
, despite the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
human beings avoid visiting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heritage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
authorities and desired caretakers, who are responsible to manage these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
take concreted actions, these problems can
be solved
to a greater extent.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
40Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays museums and historical sites are visited mainly bu foreign tourists rather than by locals. Why is this happening? What can be done to get locals to visit museums and historical sites more often? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
339 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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