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Nowadays museums and historical sites are mainly visited by foreign tourists instead of locals. Why is this happening? What can be done to get locals to visit museums and historical sites more? v.1

Nowadays museums and historical sites are mainly visited by foreign tourists instead of locals. Why is this happening? What can be done to get locals to visit museums and historical sites more? v. 1
In recent decades millions of tourists from other countries have visited China heritage sites and museums. In contrast, the numbers of residents visiting these same sites have dropped. This essay sets out to ask why this has happened and offer solutions. There are two reasons why so many foreign tourists travel to these destinations. Firstly, because of well-produced and lavish advertising by airlines and tour companies, especially, as prime examples the internet and social media. Secondly, and unquestionably the main reason, is the ever-decreasing cost of international airfares. Furthermore, is the fact international air travel is now within reach of those on moderate incomes, host countries also have encouraged the rise in visitors. As to local Chinese populations, for the same reasons and by nearly the same measure, they too are opting for foreign trips and holidays to destinations around the world. So, my proposal for increasing the numbers of natives who are not visiting local landmarks and places of historical importance is to increase the awareness and heighten the important history and ancient culture of China. To accomplish this aim is to use the same methods as those used to welcome visitors from abroad, simply by better advertising, improved infrastructure, and to ensure costs, whether they be for travel, or entrance to some special sites are accessible to all. In summary, naturally, as technology has advanced and with cheaper fares, global travel is now a major leisure activity. However, ensuring that local people also appreciate their own countries, heritage and familiarise themselves with some of both the man-made and natural beauty spots, then raising awareness through media is key.
In recent decades millions of tourists from other countries have visited China heritage sites and museums.
In contrast
, the numbers of residents visiting these same sites have dropped. This essay sets out to ask why this has happened and offer solutions.

There are two reasons why
so
many
foreign tourists
travel
to these destinations.
Firstly
,
because
of well-produced and lavish advertising by airlines and tour
companies
,
especially
, as prime examples the internet and social media.
Secondly
, and
unquestionably
the main reason, is the ever-decreasing cost of international airfares.
Furthermore
, is the fact international air
travel
is
now
within reach of those on moderate incomes, host countries
also
have encouraged the rise in visitors.

As to local Chinese populations, for the same reasons and by
nearly
the same measure, they too are opting for foreign trips and holidays to destinations around the world.
So
, my proposal for increasing the numbers of natives who are not visiting local landmarks and places of historical importance is to increase the awareness and heighten the
important
history and ancient culture of China. To accomplish this aim is to
use
the same methods as those
used
to welcome visitors from abroad,
simply
by better advertising,
improved
infrastructure, and to ensure costs, whether they be for
travel
, or entrance to
some
special sites are accessible to all.

In summary,
naturally
, as technology has advanced and with cheaper fares, global
travel
is
now
a major leisure activity.
However
, ensuring that local
people
also
appreciate their
own
countries, heritage and
familiarise
themselves with
some
of both the
man
-made and natural beauty spots, then raising awareness through media is key.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays museums and historical sites are mainly visited by foreign tourists instead of locals. Why is this happening? What can be done to get locals to visit museums and historical sites more? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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