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Nowadays most people not as fit and active, as they were in the past. What are the main causes of the situation? Suggest some possible solutions? v.1

Nowadays most people not as fit and active, as they were in the past. What are the main causes of the situation? Suggest some possible solutions? v. 1
In the last few decades the number of overweight people increased rapidly. Statistics show that the number patients suffered from diseases related to obesity going up constantly. As long as this issue is one of the major problems of modern society any discussion towards locating causes and finding solutions are vital. In this essay I will briefly discuss about reasons and how it can be solved. According to me, the main reason of this situation is that we are all surrounded by technologies. Thus, life became very comfortable and easy for us. For example, we don't even stand up to switch the channels on TV, given that we have a remote control to do so. Moreover, the Internet is our second life today. As we can't imagine ourselves without online activities for a minute. In particular, we are shopping, chatting, playing, studying and even working on the various websites. A possible solution to this problem would be creating of all kinds of applications and devices to help people track their body conditions and progress of daily exercises. Particularly, XiaoMi tracking watches are one such a solution. It measures heartbeat, counts steps, speed and even sleeping quality. To summarize, it is obvious that in the era of cutting edge hardware and software conveniences it is hard to stay in shape and fit. Therefore, totally new and technological decisions must be made to solve this common issue. All in all, everything depends on us ourselves, if we want to be fit we can do it whenever and wherever.
In the last few decades the number of overweight
people
increased
rapidly
. Statistics
show
that the number patients suffered from diseases related to obesity going up
constantly
. As long as this issue is one of the major problems of modern society any discussion towards locating causes and finding solutions are vital. In this essay I will
briefly
discuss about reasons
and how it can
be solved
.

According to me
, the main reason of this situation is that we are all surrounded by technologies.
Thus
, life became
very
comfortable and easy for us.
For example
, we don't even stand up to switch the channels on TV,
given
that we have a remote control to do
so
.
Moreover
, the Internet is our second life
today
. As we can't imagine ourselves without online activities for a minute.
In particular
, we are shopping, chatting, playing, studying and even working on the various websites.

A possible solution to this problem would be creating of all kinds of applications and devices to
help
people
track
their body conditions and progress of daily exercises.
Particularly
,
XiaoMi
tracking
watches
are one such a solution. It measures heartbeat, counts steps, speed and even sleeping quality.

To summarize
, it is obvious that in the era of cutting edge hardware and software conveniences it is
hard
to stay in shape and fit.
Therefore
,
totally
new and technological decisions
must
be made
to solve this common issue. All in all, everything depends on us ourselves, if we want to
be fit
we can do it whenever and wherever.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays most people not as fit and active, as they were in the past. What are the main causes of the situation? Suggest some possible solutions? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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