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Nowadays more tasks at home and work are being performed by robots. Is this a negative or positive development? v.1

Nowadays more tasks at home and work are being performed by robots. Is this a negative or positive development? v. 1
More and more domestic and office works are now being performed by machines. This essay believes that this a negative development, because by replacing people they have increased unemployment, and compare to humans they cannot efficiently execute critical tasks involving intelligence. One reason why robots replacing human in doing the daily chores has a bad impact on us is, because people have lost their jobs especially in the manufacturing industry. That is to say, most of the industries now employ machines and robotic arms in their assembly lines, whereas, in the past, those tasks were performed by people, and this has risen the unemployment dramatically. For example, when BWM automated it’s automobile factories in 2010, the company had to sack 20 thousand of its employees, and this was the biggest layoff in the organisation’s history. Furthermore, due to the deficiency of intelligence and cognitive ability, robots cannot work with full capacity in comparison to humans. Deploying robots for daily chores such as cleaning and handling safety procedures has witnessed a sharp increase in injuries because machines tend to fail in making critical decisions due to the ack of emotions. For instance, UK’s Ministry of Health published a report stating that, in 2017, 50 % of work-related and 30% of domestic tasks related injuries were directly or indirectly caused by automated machines, and in most of the cases the machine failed to make an immediate decision which resulted in those accidents. In conclusion, these days many home and commercial tasks are being done by machines and I believe that this has a damaging effect on society because this has enhanced joblessness and robots are not productive in handling crucial operations.
More and more domestic and office works are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
being performed
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
. This essay believes that this a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
by replacing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
they have increased unemployment, and compare to humans they cannot
efficiently
execute critical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
involving intelligence.

One reason why robots replacing human in doing the daily chores has a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impact on us is,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have lost their jobs
especially
in the manufacturing industry.
That is
to say, most of the industries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
employ
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
and robotic arms in their assembly lines, whereas, in the past, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
were performed
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, and this has risen the unemployment
dramatically
.
For example
, when BWM automated
Did you mean "its" (possessive pronoun) instead of 'it's' (=it is)?
it’s
automobile factories in 2010, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
had to sack 20 thousand of its employees, and this was the biggest layoff in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
’s history.

Furthermore
, due to the deficiency of intelligence and cognitive ability, robots cannot work with full capacity
in comparison
to humans. Deploying robots for daily chores such as cleaning and handling safety procedures has witnessed a sharp increase in injuries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
tend to fail in making critical decisions due to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
ack
of emotions.
For instance
, UK’s Ministry of Health published a report stating that, in 2017, 50 % of work-related and 30% of domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
related injuries were
directly
or
indirectly
caused by automated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
, and in most of the cases the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
failed to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an immediate decision which resulted in those accidents.

In conclusion
, these days
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
home and commercial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
are
being done
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
and I believe that this has a damaging effect on society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this has enhanced joblessness and robots are not productive in handling crucial operations.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays more tasks at home and work are being performed by robots. Is this a negative or positive development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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