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Nowadays more tasks at home and work are being performed by robots. Why do you think this is happening? Is it a positive or negative development? v.4

Nowadays more tasks at home and work are being performed by robots. Why do you think this is happening? Is it a positive or negative development? v. 4
Robots and high technology devices can help in order to complete chores mostly at our homes nowadays. Admittedly, it is one of the irresistible results of developing technology. I will briefly elaborate this situation by emphasizing positive ways. In the modern life, robots can do many tasks at home like as a human. The cheaper and fast performs are appearing in that. Because of this, many people want to purchase a robot. For example, in the last year, the most selling machines for using at home was İrobot. They have cleaned via their smart software which depict home's structure without any person. Thus, individuals prefer using them, and they like it's cleaning, even more a human's performing. On the other hand, many people work during long hours in this decade. Not only man, also women are busy for their business contract to old years. In the past, many women can not have a job, so they were responsible for all housework. However, in the digital age, approximately all women can be hired like as men. Thus, nobody has not enough time to clean up the homes. Therefore, robots sold at a dramatically increasing rate. Everybody trusts robots save their time, so they are a modern hero. For instance, according a survey which was completed by a municipality, illustrated that having a robot couple have more happier. Because of this, they can spend quality time each other without thinking chores, washing, vacuum. All of these housework has been done by the machines. In conclusion, I restate that in the digital age, doubtless high technology has a great positive effect on our life. One of the this positive influence is robots in our homes. That is to say, the machines are helpful to increase our life standards to save our valuable time lacking of home duties.
Robots and high technology devices can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in order to complete chores
mostly
at our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
nowadays.
Admittedly
, it is one of the irresistible results of developing technology. I will
briefly
elaborate this situation by emphasizing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
ways.

In the modern life, robots can do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
tasks at home like as a human. The cheaper and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
performs
The verb 'appearing' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are appearing
in that.
Because of this
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
a robot.
For example
, in the last year, the most selling machines for using at home was
Possible spelling mistake found.
İrobot
. They have cleaned via their smart software which depict home's structure without any person. T
hus,
individuals prefer using them, and they like it's cleaning, even
Did you mean "a more human"?
more a human
's performing.

O
n the other hand,
m
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
any
p
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
eople
work during long hours in this decade. Not o
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
nly
m
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
an,
a
lso
women are busy for their business contract to o
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
ld
years. In the past, m
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
any
women can not have a job, s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
o
they were responsible for all housework. H
owever,
in the digital age, approximately all women can
be hired
like as m
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
en.
T
hus,
nobody has not e
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
nough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to clean up the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
. T
herefore,
robots sold at a
dramatically
increasing rate. Everybody trusts robots save their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
o
they are a modern hero. F
or instance,
according a survey which
was completed
by a municipality, illustrated that having a robot couple have
Use only "happier" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more happier
. B
ecause of this,
they can spend quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
each other without thinking chores, washing, vacuum. All of
Did you mean "this housework" or "these houseworks"?
these housework
has
been done
by the machines.

I
n conclusion,
I restate that in the digital age, doubtless high technology has a great p
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
ositive
effect on our life. One of
Maybe you need to remove the second determiner so that only "the" or "this" is left.
the this
p
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
ositive
influence is robots in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
. T
hat is
to say, the machines are helpful to increase our life standards to save our valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
lacking of home duties.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Nowadays more tasks at home and work are being performed by robots. Why do you think this is happening? Is it a positive or negative development? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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