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Nowadays, more people are choosing to socialize online rather than face to face. Is this a positive or negative development. v.3

Nowadays, more people are choosing to socialize online rather than face to face. Is this a positive or negative development. v. 3
People have different views about whether it is better for the culture of a country to import movies and TV shows from overseas or to attempt to produce them on in their own country. While such imports make a valuable contribution to national culture, I would argue that promoting local entertainment is a much better option. On the one hand, it is beneficial for the cultural life of a country to purchase international movies and TV programmes. Firstly, foreign films and TV shows could help people have a better understanding of beauty in different cultures in a more effective way. For example, queue culture is a lovely habit in many Western countries, and if Vietnamese people watch movies produced by these countries, they could learn and copy this action. Secondly, foreign films and TV shows cold improve the viewer’s language skills, via combining learning and enjoyment. Many Vietnamese students, for example, take advantages of watching TV Series such as Friends. On the other hand, I strongly believe that it is better for national culture to produce local movies and TV programmes for two reasons. The first one, from an educational perspective, the young could have a good grasp of their culture via local entertainment, stimulating their interest and national pride. For instance, instead of studying history from boring textbooks, students now can learn by watching locally-made documentaries or movies. The second one, from an entertainment perspective, domestic films and shows could bring people true feeling and complete understanding of context. As such, even copyright ideas from overseas are utilised, local producers could adapt them to make shows to suit their local people’s tastes, such as the Vietnamese version of The Voices. In conclusion, while purchasing foreign movies and TV programmes does have some benefits to a nation’s culture, it seems to me that making local ones is better choice owing to their roles in the field of education and entertainment.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views about whether it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to import
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
from overseas or to attempt to produce them on in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. While such imports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a valuable contribution to national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
, I would argue that promoting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
entertainment is a much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
option.

On the one hand, it is beneficial for the cultural life of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and TV
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
.
Firstly
, foreign films and TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
understanding of beauty in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
in a more effective way.
For example
, queue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
is a lovely habit in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, and if Vietnamese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
produced by these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, they could learn and copy this action.
Secondly
, foreign films and TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the viewer’s language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, via combining learning and enjoyment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
Vietnamese students,
for example
, take advantages of watching TV Series such as Friends.

On the other hand
, I
strongly
believe that it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
for national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
to produce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and TV
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
for two reasons. The
first
one, from an educational perspective, the young could have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
grasp of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
via
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
entertainment, stimulating their interest and national pride.
For instance
,
instead
of studying history from boring textbooks, students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
can learn by watching
locally
-made documentaries or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
. The second one, from an entertainment perspective, domestic films and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
could bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
true feeling and complete understanding of context. As such, even copyright
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
from overseas are
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilised' is British English.
utilised
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
producers could adapt them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
to suit their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
tastes, such as the Vietnamese version of The Voices.

In conclusion
, while purchasing foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and TV
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
does have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits to a nation’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
, it seems to me that making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
ones is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
choice owing to their roles in the field of education and entertainment.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays, more people are choosing to socialize online rather than face to face. Is this a positive or negative development. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
320 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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