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The chart below shows rite expenditure on three categories with different proportions among residents in the UK in 2004 v.1

The chart below shows rite expenditure on three categories with different proportions among residents in the UK in 2004 v. 1
Never in the history has the influence of teachers on children been more visible. The impact of academic experts is indisputable while that of parents is of the same level. From my perspective, it would be adversely exaggerated to claim the superiority of teachers over parents. We have every reason to believe that teachers do influence children to a particular extent but do not possess total power over them. In particular, teachers are not only education providers but also great advisors for children. Despite the fact that children go to school everyday for academic knowledge and social skills, they are critically aware of what is being taught since they can tell right and wrong. Another point worth consideration is that some teachers go further than their duties and force children to take inappropriate tasks or implant things that are not suitable for students. This is the point when children go home and have a conversation about what happened at school. It should be borne in mind that parents know their children like the back of their hands so if anything wrong happens to them, they will see through immediately. Getting to the bottom of this dilemma, parents can take methods such as calling the police or having a word with the headmaster. There is some truth in the impact of teachers, but there is much to be said for parents. Although parents might not be able to spend enough time for children academic education like teachers do, they can teach children from daily life tasks such as housework or communication. These are invaluable knowledge that teachers can not spare time for when children are at school. Moreover, what should not be neglected is that parents know children better than teachers, so children are more likely to seek help from their parents rather than their teachers. All in all, there are things that teachers can implant but parents can not and reverse; therefore, there should be a balance between the impact of teachers and parents. In conclusion, it is ill-advised if one of the sources of influence is overpowering the other. Accordingly, I highly recommend this essay be taken in scrutiny to adopt suitable guidelines.
The adverb 'Never' is usually not used at the beginning of a sentence.
Never
in the history has the influence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
been more visible. The impact of academic experts is indisputable while that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
is of the same level. From my perspective, it would be
adversely
exaggerated to claim the superiority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
over parents.

We have every reason to believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
do influence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to a particular extent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
do not possess total power over them.
In particular
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
education providers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
great advisors for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Despite the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
go to school
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
for academic knowledge and social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, they are
critically
aware of what is
being taught
since they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
. Another point worth consideration is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
go
further
than their duties and force
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to take inappropriate tasks or implant things that are not suitable for students. This is the point when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
go home and have a conversation about what happened at school. It should
be borne
in mind that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
know their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
like the back of their hands
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
if anything
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
happens to them, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
through immediately. Getting to the bottom of this dilemma,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can take methods such as calling the police or having a word with the headmaster.

There is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
truth in the impact of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there is much to
be said
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
might not be able to spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
academic education like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
do, they can teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from daily life tasks such as housework or communication. These are invaluable knowledge that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
can not spare time for when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are at school.
Moreover
, what should not
be neglected
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
know
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
better than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are more likely to seek
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
rather
than their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
. All in all, there are things that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
can implant
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can not and reverse;
therefore
, there should be a balance between the impact of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
and parents.

In conclusion
, it is ill-advised if one of the sources of influence is overpowering the other.
Accordingly
, I
highly
recommend this essay
be taken
in scrutiny to adopt suitable guidelines.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The chart below shows rite expenditure on three categories with different proportions among residents in the UK in 2004 v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
364 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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