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Many people in the undeveloped world die from diseases that are curable because they cannot afford the medication to treat themselves Do you believe that drug companies in the developed world should be obliged to make their products available at reduced p v.1

Many people in the undeveloped world die from diseases that are curable because they cannot afford the medication to treat themselves Do you believe that drug companies in the developed world should be obliged to make their products available at reduced p v. 1
Since ancient times, people on earth have been greatly affected by dangerous diseases such as smallpox, bubonic plague, malaria, tuberculosis, cholera, etc. and modern epidemics such as h5n1, sars, ebola, etc. These plagues have long become a terrible danger to mankind. When outbreaking, they could be easily taken millions of lives, if there was no timely cure. Therefore, medical research and development by reputable pharmaceutical companies in powerful countries have contributed to fighting back these diseases. And as we all know, the expenses of researching the medical system is the main reason for the high expense of medicine. But in my opinion, medical products in general and especially medicines in particular should be marked prices down or distributed free to all countries in the world, especially to the least developed countries. There is no doubt that the primary aim of every medication is to keep patients healthy, therefore these giant drug corporations inevitably play an indispensable role in medical treatment. But it must be claimed that due to the extremely high prices of medicines, so understandably patients in the less developed countries are unable to buy medications prescribed by doctor' s treatments. Therefore, the supporting programs of the pharmaceutical firms could greatly assist people in underdeveloped worlds who are suffering from poor health care system and the severe deficiency in effective modern medicines. And in addition, the programs of drug discount and free drug distribution could offer the opportunity to save people who threatened by diseases and unable to afford to pay for vital medicines. Moreover, the generous sponsors in these programs can enjoy long-term economic profits. Instead of bearing enormous expenses in advertising, financing pharmaceutical support schemes is a feasible and effective alternative. Furthermore, this is a golden opportunity to prove the great (tremendous) and powerful impact of these pharmaceutical products. It can be said that the more effective drugs are, the better reputation of which the company made those drugs is increasing. In conclusion, assistance programs of major pharmaceutical corporations around the world could bring huge benefits not only to themselves but also to poor people in underdeveloped countries.
Since ancient times,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on earth have been
greatly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
diseases such as smallpox, bubonic plague, malaria, tuberculosis, cholera, etc. and modern epidemics such as h5n1,
Possible spelling mistake found.
sars
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
ebola
, etc. These plagues have long become a terrible
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
to mankind. When
Possible spelling mistake found.
outbreaking
, they could be
easily
taken millions of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, if there was no timely cure.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
research and development by reputable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pharmaceutical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
in powerful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have contributed to fighting back these diseases. And as we all know, the expenses of researching the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
system is the main reason for the high expense of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
products
in general
and
especially
medicines
in particular
should
be marked
prices down or distributed free to all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in the world,
especially
to the least
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
.

There is no doubt that the primary aim of every medication is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
patients healthy,
therefore
these giant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
corporations
inevitably
play an indispensable role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
treatment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be claimed
that due to the
extremely
high prices of medicines,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
understandably
patients in the less developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are unable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
medications prescribed by
Possible spelling mistake found.
doctor&
#039; s treatments.
Therefore
, the supporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pharmaceutical
firms could
greatly
assist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in underdeveloped worlds who are suffering from poor health care system and the severe deficiency in effective modern medicines. And
in addition
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
discount and free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
distribution could offer the opportunity to save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who threatened by diseases and unable to afford to pay for vital medicines.

Moreover
, the generous sponsors in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
can enjoy long-term economic profits.
Instead
of bearing enormous expenses in advertising, financing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pharmaceutical
support schemes is a feasible and effective alternative.
Furthermore
, this is a golden opportunity to prove the great (tremendous) and powerful impact of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pharmaceutical
products. It can
be said
that the more effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
are, the better reputation of which the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
made those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
is increasing.

In conclusion
, assistance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
of major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pharmaceutical
corporations around the world could bring huge benefits not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to themselves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in underdeveloped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people in the undeveloped world die from diseases that are curable because they cannot afford the medication to treat themselves Do you believe that drug companies in the developed world should be obliged to make their products available at reduced p v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
351 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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