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Nowadays more and more people want to live by themselves. What are the reasons? Is it a positive or negative trend? v.3

Nowadays more and more people want to live by themselves. What are the reasons? Is it a positive or negative trend? v. 3
The Modern era of technology has brought tremendous innovations into the world due to which human living standards have immensely improved. Nowadays, cars have become a major mean of transportation, but the fossil fuel, which they burn has a detrimental impact on our environment. I agree that electric cars should replace cars that burn petroleum and natural gasses for ignition because of the increasing air pollution and global warming. On one hand, vehicles that burn fossil fuels for ignition increase air pollution by releasing greenhouse gasses such as nitrogen dioxide and carbon monoxide. These gasses cause acid rain and haze which mainly affects the water, on land and the trees. Moreover, these poisonous gasses also affect human health. To illustrate, China and India are the most populated countries in the world and due to the heavy usage of cars that burn fossil fuels in both countries, scientists have recorded a significant increase in the amount of sulphur and nitrogen dioxide mixed in raindrops. These countries have also seen an increase in haze in the past few years, due to which different health issues such as loss of breath and nausea have increased in both countries. On the other hand, vehicles that burn petroleum and natural gasses cause an increase in global warming by releasing carbon dioxide in the atmosphere. Carbon dioxide is a major contributor to global warming as it controls the earth’s temperature. Burning fossil fuels releases much extra CO2 in the atmosphere, and it absorbs a wide range of energy, including the infrared (heat) energy emitted by the earth and then re-emit it in all directions and most of that heat travels back to the earth. For example, studies have shown that the global temperature has risen by 0. 8 Celsius since 1880. Many Asian and European countries have already recorded 2019 as the hottest year. In addition, Scientists have also observed that due to the increase in global temperature the glaciers on both poles are melting faster than ever. Consequently, due to the extra amount of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere earth’s temperature is increasing drastically. In conclusion, cars that burn fossil fuels are contributing adversely to the atmosphere by releasing greenhouse gasses. Therefore, these cars should be banned and replaced by electric cars as they pollute the air and increase global warming.
The Modern era of technology has brought tremendous innovations into the world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to which human living standards have
immensely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
. Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
have become a major mean of transportation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
, which they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
burn
has a detrimental impact on our environment. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that electric
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
should replace
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
burn
petroleum and natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gasses
for ignition
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the increasing air pollution and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
warming.

On one hand, vehicles that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
burn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
for ignition
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
air pollution by releasing greenhouse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gasses
such as nitrogen dioxide and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
carbon
monoxide. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gasses
cause acid rain and haze which
mainly
affects the water, on land and the trees.
Moreover
, these poisonous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gasses
also
affect human health. To illustrate, China and India are the most populated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in the world and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the heavy usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
burn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
in both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, scientists have recorded a significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
in the amount of
Possible spelling mistake. 'sulphur' is British English.
sulphur
and nitrogen dioxide mixed in raindrops. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
in haze in the past few years,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
health issues such as loss of breath and nausea have increased in both countries.

On the other hand
, vehicles that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
burn
petroleum and natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gasses
cause an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
warming by releasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
carbon
dioxide in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
atmosphere
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Carbon
dioxide is a major contributor to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
warming as it controls the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
temperature
. Burning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
releases much extra CO2 in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
atmosphere
, and it absorbs a wide range of energy, including the infrared (heat) energy emitted by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
and then re-emit it in all directions and most of that heat travels back to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
.
For example
, studies have shown that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
temperature
has risen by 0. 8 Celsius since 1880.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
Asian and European
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have already recorded 2019 as the hottest year.
In addition
, Scientists have
also
observed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
temperature
the glaciers on both poles are melting faster than ever.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the extra amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
carbon
dioxide in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
atmosphere
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
temperature
is increasing
drastically
.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
burn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
are contributing
adversely
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
atmosphere
by releasing greenhouse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gasses
.
Therefore
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
should
be banned
and replaced by electric
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
as they pollute the air and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
warming.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays more and more people want to live by themselves. What are the reasons? Is it a positive or negative trend? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
386 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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