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Some people think that the range of technology available to people is increasing the gap between the rich and the poor. Others think it has an opposite effect. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.2

Some people think that the range of technology available to people is increasing the gap between the rich and the poor. Others think it has an opposite effect. v. 2
The Internet has influenced every segment of society, and people have become overdependent on it. In today's modern world, many people think that the internet has replaced the traditional way of reading books. I believe that in near future electronic devices will be a major source of reading books, and in my opinion paper based books will soon be completely replaced by the internet. To start with, the internet has made reading more convenient due to which people prefer to read online. As the reading trends have changed, it can be clearly predicted that in near future traditional paper books will be completely disappeared. Traditional libraries will be replaced by e-libraries. For example, multiple studies have suggested that nowadays, students prefer to read on electronic devices such as phones, laptops, and tablets so that they don’t have to carry all the books. Furthermore, according to a survey, many well-known universities have already successfully transformed their libraries into e-libraries. Moreover, in my opinion, the growing popularity of online reading is a positive development. For instance, due to the increasing volume of online readers paper based books will eventually stop publishing, in the near future there will be no need to publish paper books. By doing that an eco-friendly environment will be encouraged and huge sums of money could be saved. Also, I believe that e-libraries are more convenient and can be accessed from any part of the world due to which literacy rate can be increased underdeveloped countries. In conclusion, the Internet has already changed reading trends, and due to the ease and accessibility of the internet, it can be easily foreseen that in near future paper-based books will be completely replaced by digital books.
The Internet has influenced every segment of society, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have become overdependent on it. In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's modern world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the internet has replaced the traditional way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
. I believe that in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
near
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
electronic devices will be a major source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
, and in my opinion paper based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
be completely replaced by the internet.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, the internet has made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
more convenient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer to read online. As the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
trends have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
, it can be
clearly
predicted that in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
near
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
traditional paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
will be completely disappeared. Traditional libraries will
be replaced
by e-libraries.
For example
, multiple studies have suggested that nowadays, students prefer to read on electronic devices such as phones, laptops, and tablets
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they don’t
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
carry all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
.
Furthermore
, according to a survey,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
well-known universities have already
successfully
transformed their libraries into e-libraries.

Moreover
, in my opinion, the growing popularity of online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the increasing volume of online readers paper based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
will
eventually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
publishing, in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
near
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
there will be no need to publish paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
. By doing that an eco-friendly environment will
be encouraged
and huge sums of money could
be saved
.
Also
, I believe that e-libraries are more convenient and can
be accessed
from any part of the world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to which literacy rate can
be increased
underdeveloped countries.

In conclusion
, the Internet has already
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
trends, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
and accessibility of the internet, it can be
easily
foreseen that in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
near
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
paper-based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
will be completely replaced by digital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay Some people think that the range of technology available to people is increasing the gap between the rich and the poor. Others think it has an opposite effect. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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