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Nowadays more and more people read news on the internet. Nevertheless, newspapers will remain and important source of news and information for the majority of people. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.1

Nowadays more and more people read news on the internet. Nevertheless, newspapers will remain and important source of news and information for the majority of people. v. 1
It is observed that a large number of people read the news on the internet. Despite this trend, it is argued that newspapers will hold their position as an important source of news and information for the majority of people. This essay disagrees with this argument because of the rapid increase in the use of internet-connected devices and the rising awareness about global warming around the world. Today, everyone uses at least one internet-connected device e. g. Smartphones, tablets, laptops, or smart TVs, etc. Most of these devices have built-in news or social media applications that keep their users up to date with any local or international developments. It has become convenient for people to remain informed at any time without incurring any monetary cost as compared to reading newspapers. According to a report published by a journalist organization, 7 out of 10 people keep themselves informed of the current affairs through online news feeds and social media, and it is anticipated that in the coming years this number will be increased further. Secondly, global warming has become a popular issue, which is discussed almost at every level. There are several factors which cause global warming, such as carbon emissions, greenhouse gasses, and other pollutions, etc. But one major factor which significantly accelerates global warming is the diminishing number of trees around the world. The timber from these trees is mostly used in paper manufacturing. Therefore, to preserve more trees, the majority of businesses and governments discourage the use of paper by using electronic channel e. g. Web portals, and PDF documents. In this regard, major newspaper publishers around the globe have also contributed to the cause. For instance, several newspapers have launched their news websites and social media pages. This step has not only reduced the cost of printing newspaper for newspaper publishers, but also allowed them to retain their readership which prefers to remain updated online. In conclusion, people have internet access as a more convenient choice to remain informed as compared to read newspapers and contributing their share in preventing global warming indirectly.
It
is observed
that
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
read the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
on the internet. Despite this trend, it
is argued
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
will hold their position as an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
and information for the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. This essay disagrees with this argument
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the rapid increase in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of internet-connected devices and the rising awareness about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
around the world.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, everyone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
at least one internet-connected device
There should be no space here: "e.g.".
e. g.
Smartphones, tablets, laptops, or smart TVs, etc. Most of these devices have built-in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
or social media applications that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their users up to date with any local or international developments. It has become convenient for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to remain informed at any time without incurring any monetary cost as compared to reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
. According to a report published by a journalist organization, 7 out of 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
themselves informed of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
affairs through online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
feeds and social media, and it
is anticipated
that in the coming years this number will
be increased
further
.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
has become a popular issue, which
is discussed
almost at every level. There are several factors which cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
, such as carbon emissions, greenhouse gasses, and other pollutions, etc.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
one major factor which
significantly
accelerates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
is the diminishing number of trees around the world. The timber from these trees is
mostly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in paper manufacturing.
Therefore
, to preserve more trees, the majority of businesses and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
discourage the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of paper by using electronic channel
There should be no space here: "e.g.".
e. g.
Web portals, and PDF documents. In this regard, major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
publishers around the globe have
also
contributed to the cause.
For instance
, several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
have launched their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
websites and social media pages. This step has not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the cost of printing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
publishers,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
them to retain their readership which prefers to remain updated online.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have internet access as a more convenient choice to remain informed as compared to read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
and contributing their share in preventing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
indirectly
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay Nowadays more and more people read news on the internet. Nevertheless, newspapers will remain and important source of news and information for the majority of people. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
346 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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