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Even though doctor all over the world agree that fast food is bad for people's health, more and more people are eating it. Why are more people eating fast food? v.1

Even though doctor all over the world agree that fast food is bad for people's health, more and more people are eating it. Why are more people eating fast food? v. 1
As time passes, the companies are demanding much more of its employees, which leads to lack of time for people to spend on basic thinks, such as cooking. This lifestyle is ideal for fast food chains, it is all they need. Despite the fact that almost everybody knows that this kind of food is harmful to the human body, more people are consuming it. There are countless factors that increases junk food consumption, for example, nowadays most of the population spends endless hours at work, so when they get home, their only wish is get some rest. This situation leads directly to the fast food consumption, as they do not have time to cook and bring their own food to work. Another important factor is that junk food is much cheaper than real food. Having said that, is more affordable for the worker to get out of his job and have a hamburger at the corner of his house rather than going to a real restaurant. Last but not least, it takes almost no time to go to a fast food and order a pizza or a burger, therefore the client does not lose precious time. On the other hand, consuming this type of food is not healthy, there are many studies showing its side effects. Because of that, many people are getting heath issues and it can affect the public heath system, so the government should interfere. There are some ways to interfere, it can create advertisements showing the benefits of health food, for instance. Moreover, it can increase the tax over junk food, making it more expensive and consequently, people will avoid it. Another benefit of the tax increment is that restaurants which provide health dishes will look much more attractive to the public. To conclude, the fast food consumption is increasing due to the fact that people are getting much busier lately, so they cannot afford time to prepare their own meals. This fact, however, could lead to massive obesity, and therefore, cause a national wide problem, provided that, the government should be aware of this issue and act proactively in order to reduce the consumption.
As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
passes, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are demanding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
more of its employees, which leads to lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to spend on basic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
, such as cooking. This lifestyle is ideal for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
chains, it is all they need. Despite the fact that almost everybody knows that this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is harmful to the human body, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are consuming it.

There are countless factors that increases junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
,
for example
, nowadays most of the population spends endless hours at work,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
home, their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
wish is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
rest. This situation leads
directly
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
, as they do not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to cook and bring their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
to work. Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor is that junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
cheaper than real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. Having said that, is more affordable for the worker to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
out of his job and have a hamburger at the corner of his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
rather
than going to a real restaurant. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, it takes almost no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to go to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and order a pizza or a burger,
therefore
the client does not lose precious time.

On the other hand
, consuming this type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is not healthy, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
studies showing its side effects.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are getting heath issues and it can affect the public heath system,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should interfere. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ways to interfere, it can create advertisements showing the benefits of health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
,
for instance
.
Moreover
, it can increase the tax over junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, making it more expensive and
consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will avoid it. Another benefit of the tax increment is that restaurants which provide health dishes will look
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
more attractive to the public.

To conclude
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
is increasing due to the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
busier lately,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they cannot afford
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to prepare their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
meals. This fact,
however
, could lead to massive obesity, and
therefore
, cause a national wide problem, provided that, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should be aware of this issue and act
proactively
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
One should not aim at being possible to understand but at being impossible to misunderstand.
Marcus Fabius Quintilian

IELTS essay Even though doctor all over the world agree that fast food is bad for people's health, more and more people are eating it. Why are more people eating fast food? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
359 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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