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Nowadays more and more people have to compete with young people for the same jobs What problems does this cause What are some possible solutions v.1

Nowadays more and more people have to compete with young people for the same jobs What problems does this cause What are some possible solutions v. 1
At present days more and more people have to encounter with younger contenders for the same job. The aim of this essay is to investigate the issues which have contributed to competition with young employees and also propose a number of ways to deal with the situation. Obviously, this is expected situation when elder people have difficulties with competition with the youngers, but it causes problem with massive unemployment among this part of populace. The more unemployment rate, the more expenses government have to make to keep the financial stability in the country. Moreover, younger employee provide more abilities to study new skills for particular work, but, at the same time, they have not enough experience, only theoretical knowledges about working process. And this issue sometimes lead to unproductiveness in the compony. Less objective, but the most widespread thing is influence on health. Elder people, for instance, after firing may not continue to keep brain activity at the same level that lead to enormous changes in the nervous system. Stupendous government spendings on transfers to unemployed people may be covered by changes in taxation system. On the other hand, this solution would also exacerbate emotional climate inside the country. There were examples in the history when higher tax lead to mass disorders. At the same time, health issues should be eradicate by special medical treatment and educational activities such as free pass in libraries, certificates for educational programs and etc. In conclusion should be mentioned that situation with competition between young and elder people lead to wide range of issues in economic, political and medical systems, however, people have already find possible solutions.
At present days more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
encounter with younger contenders for the

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
same
job. The aim of this essay is to investigate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
which have contributed
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
to


competition with young employees and
also
propose a number of ways to deal with the

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
situation
.

Obviously
, this is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
situation when elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have difficulties with competition with

the
Possible spelling mistake found.
youngers
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it causes problem with massive unemployment among this part of

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
populace
. The more unemployment rate, the more expenses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
to


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
keep
the financial stability in the country.
Moreover
, younger employee provide more abilities

to study new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
for particular work,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, at the same time, they have not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
experience
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
theoretical
Possible spelling mistake found.
knowledges
about working process. And this
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issue
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
sometimes


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
lead
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
unproductiveness
in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
compony
. Less objective,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the most widespread thing
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
is


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
influence
on health. Elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
for instance
, after firing may not continue to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
brain


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
activity
at the same level that lead to enormous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the nervous system.

Stupendous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
Possible spelling mistake found.
spendings on
transfers to unemployed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may
be covered
by

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
changes
in taxation system.
On the other hand
, this solution would
also
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
exacerbate


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
emotional
climate inside the country. There were examples in the history when higher
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
tax


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
lead
to mass disorders. At the same time, health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
should be
Consider using the past participle "eradicated"?
eradicate
by
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
special


medical treatment and educational activities such as free pass in libraries, certificates for

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
educational
programs
Write the name of the item after 'and' or use only "etc".
and etc
.

In conclusion
should
be mentioned
that situation with competition between young and elder

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
lead to wide range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
in economic, political and medical systems,
however
,

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have already find possible solutions.
0Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay Nowadays more and more people have to compete with young people for the same jobs What problems does this cause What are some possible solutions v. 1

Essay
  American English
22 paragraphs
273 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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