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nowadays more and more people decide to have children later in their life. what are the reasons? do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages? v.11

nowadays more and more people decide to have children later in their life. what are the reasons? do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages? v. 11
The number of couples who plan to have their babies in their middle or late 30s skyrocketing. This essay deals with some of the contributing factors of this fashion and whether the advantages surge over disadvantages. First and foremost majority of current generation focus more on job prospects and promotion which may end up in late parenting in order to stabilize their career life before concentrating on family and babies. Indeed, it costs enormous amount to raise up a child especially for education and hospital payments, which makes couples to decide to have children later in their life. Further more, current generation seems to be hesitant to take responsibilities in early stages of their life but to enjoy life. However, there are many risk factors associated with late pregnancy especially for women. Because of the advanced age, health issues like gestational diabetes mellitus and pregnancy induced hypertension are more common in elderly pregnancy. Besides that, there are chances for many women not to conceive in advanced ages, even though it is curable to a certain extend through advanced technologies and inventions like invitro fertilization. On the other hand, in late parenthood couples become mature enough to take decision and thus provide a great care to their offsprings compared to young parents. Infact, late parenthood allows many people to enjoy their life before having the responsibilities of parenthood and family, which is essential in today' s competitive life. Furthermore, children with older parents often get better education and high standard of live compared to the ones from younger parents. In conclusion, there are many outstanding advantages for later parenting even though the maternal risks are higher. However, these problems can be solved significantly through advanced medical technologies. Thus in my opinion, advantages of late parenting outweigh disadvantages.
The number of couples who plan to have their babies in their middle or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
late
30s skyrocketing. This essay deals with
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
contributing factors of this fashion and whether the advantages surge over disadvantages.

First
and foremost majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
generation focus more on job prospects and promotion which may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
late
parenting in order to stabilize their career
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
concentrating on family and babies.
Indeed
, it costs enormous amount to raise up a child
especially
for education and hospital payments, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
couples to decide to have children later in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Further
more,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
generation seems to be hesitant to take responsibilities in early stages of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to enjoy life.

However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
factors associated with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
late
pregnancy
especially
for women.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advanced
age, health issues like gestational diabetes mellitus and pregnancy induced hypertension are more common in elderly pregnancy.
Besides
that, there are chances for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
women not to conceive in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advanced
ages,
even though
it is curable to a certain
Did you mean the noun "extent"?
extend
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advanced
technologies and inventions like
Possible spelling mistake found.
invitro
fertilization.

On the other hand
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
late
parenthood couples become mature
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to take decision and
thus
provide a great care to their
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
compared to young parents.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Infact
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
late
parenthood
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to enjoy their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
having the responsibilities of parenthood and family, which is essential in
Possible spelling mistake found.
today&
#039; s competitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Furthermore
, children with older parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better education and high standard of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
compared to the ones from younger parents.

In conclusion
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
outstanding advantages for later parenting
even though
the maternal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
are higher.
However
, these problems can
be solved
significantly
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advanced
medical technologies.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
in my opinion, advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
late
parenting outweigh disadvantages.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
You live a new life for every new language you speak. If you know only one language, you live only once.
Czech Proverb

IELTS essay nowadays more and more people decide to have children later in their life. what are the reasons? do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages? v. 11

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
296 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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