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Nowadays people are using more consumer goods like refrigerators or washing machines. Does this have more advantages over disadvantages? v.1

Nowadays people are using more consumer goods like refrigerators or washing machines. Does this have more advantages over disadvantages? v. 1
Increasing use of technological gadgets, such as refrigerants and washing machines, has become common these days. Although it has made the life of human beings extremely comfortable, its adverse effects on the health of the individuals cannot be neglected. I firmly believe that pros are far much higher than cons. To begin with, undeniably, technology is proving a boon for the ordinary people. Since most of the appliances which are being employed in homes have reduced the physical efforts to a substantial extent, therefore it saves a lot of time, which in turn, can be utilised to accomplish other household tasks. For instance, everyone, in the contemporary world, is running after money, and in order to earn excessive amount, they should have plenty of time. This way, modern equipments are an asset to the modern people. On the downside, these have certain potential effects on the well-being of a person. It is well known that if the masses will continue to exploit these resources for their selfish purpose, then the day is not far off when they will be overdependent on these devices, and health related issues would embrace the whole society. For example, most of the individuals in the developed countries and even in my country, India, are using these in excess, which in turn has resulted in several problems varying from obesity to high blood pressure. Thus, it is not appropriate to rely wholly on these electronic sources. However, I personally believe these negative impacts can be ignored by making physical exercise a part of the daily routine. To conclude, it is irrefutable that advancement in electronic world is advantageous for all the age groups. Despite many hazardous effects on the health, I think its merits have an edge over demerits.
Increasing
use
of technological gadgets, such as refrigerants and washing machines, has become common these days. Although it has made the life of human beings
extremely
comfortable, its adverse effects on the health of the individuals cannot
be neglected
. I
firmly
believe that pros are far much higher than cons.

To
begin
with,
undeniably
, technology is proving a boon for the ordinary
people
. Since most of the appliances which are
being employed
in homes have
reduced
the physical efforts to a substantial extent,
therefore
it saves
a lot of
time, which in turn, can be
utilised
to accomplish other household tasks.
For instance
, everyone, in the contemporary world, is running after money, and in order to earn excessive amount, they should have
plenty
of time. This way, modern equipments are an asset to the modern
people
.

On the downside, these have certain potential effects on the well-being of a person. It is well known that if the masses will continue to exploit these resources for their selfish purpose, then the day is not far off when they will be overdependent on these devices, and health related issues would embrace the whole society.
For example
, most of the individuals in the
developed countries
and even in my country, India, are using these in excess, which in turn has resulted in several problems varying from obesity to high blood pressure.
Thus
, it is not appropriate to rely wholly on these electronic sources.
However
, I
personally
believe these
negative
impacts can be
ignored
by making physical exercise a part of the daily routine.

To conclude
, it is irrefutable that advancement in electronic world is advantageous for all the age groups. Despite
many
hazardous effects on the health, I
think
its merits have an edge over demerits.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays people are using more consumer goods like refrigerators or washing machines. Does this have more advantages over disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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