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Nowadays, more and more people are having consumer goods like refrigerators and washing machines. v.3

Nowadays, more and more people are having consumer goods like refrigerators and washing machines. v. 3
It is a fact that more families these days have electronic households such freezers, vacuum cleaner, hair dryer, room heater, water heater and laundry machines than ever before. This trend has some positive and negative aspects but I personally believe that it has more disadvantages than advantages and this is due to the environmental damage they cause. It is noticed that the number of families that have consumer goods at their home has increased rapidly in the past few years. The main reason behind this trend is because of people’s busy lifestyle. They have less time to do their household activities and therefore they are relying on their electronic devices. For example, city people who are busy with their works are relying on their microwave oven and cooker for preparing their meals. The oven could be utilised for preparing instant food which would save some time for them. Therefore, some people believe that the existence of electronic household devices brings a lot of benefits for them. On the other hand, another group of people believe that it is not a good trend because they think that these devices could have some negative effects on the human body. For instance, devices such as microwave ovens or refrigerators produce radiation that could result a serious threat to the human body. In such cases, the usage of microwave oven has triggered serious diseases such as tumour and cancer. Another example would be about the usage of CFC as it is used in electronic products such as air conditioner and freezer. Many people do not realise that the usage of CFC has a fatal effect on the environment, as it triggers global warming. No doubt the modern electronic devices that we use daily have made our life easier and brought many luxuries in our life but the damages those devices cause is a big threat in our existence. In conclusion, it is true that the number of people who own electronic household devices has grown significantly in the past few years. In spite of all the benefits, I personally believe that it has more drawbacks for our life, as these electronic products could have some serious effects on our body and the environment as well.
It is a fact that more families these days have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
households
such freezers, vacuum cleaner, hair dryer, room heater, water heater and laundry machines than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. This trend has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
personally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that it has more disadvantages than advantages and this is due to the environmental damage they cause.

It
is noticed
that the number of families that have consumer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
at their home has increased
rapidly
in the past few years. The main reason behind this trend is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
busy lifestyle. They have less time to do their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
activities and
therefore
they are relying on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
.
For example
, city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are busy with their works are relying on their microwave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oven
and cooker for preparing their meals. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oven
could be
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilised' is British English.
utilised
for preparing instant food which would save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time for them.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that the existence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
benefits for them.

On the other hand
, another group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that it is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
trend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
could have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on the human body.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
such as microwave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ovens
or refrigerators produce radiation that could result a serious threat to the human body. In such cases, the usage of microwave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oven
has triggered serious diseases such as
Possible spelling mistake. 'tumour' is British English.
tumour
and cancer. Another example would be about the usage of CFC as it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
products such as air conditioner and freezer.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
that the usage of CFC has a fatal effect on the environment, as it triggers global warming. No doubt the modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
daily have made our life easier and brought
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
luxuries in our life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the damages those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
cause is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
threat in our existence.

In conclusion
, it is true that the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
has grown
significantly
in the past few years.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
all the benefits, I
personally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that it has more drawbacks for our life, as these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
products could have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
serious effects on our body and the environment
as well
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays, more and more people are having consumer goods like refrigerators and washing machines. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
371 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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