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Nowadays more and more older people compete with younger people for the same jobs. What can be the reasons for this? What would you suggest as a solution? v.2

Nowadays more and more older people compete with younger people for the same jobs. What can be the reasons for this? What would you suggest as a solution? v. 2
It is true that competition is a significant attitude in a workplace which is more prevalence between young and old employees. There are numerous reasons regarding this issue and various measures can be taken by governments to improve this situation. Higher unemployment proportion and the incursion of the innovative breakthrough are the major causes of increased competition amongst both young and old groups. Since people have faced economic recession in the world, the unemployment rate is rising they are more willing to maintain the job they have and youngsters compete with their  older counterparts to find a great job. At the same time, due to the advanced technology, employers find young generation more knowledgeable with higher qualifications. In this regard, youngsters are more likely to be recruited by them. However, the sense of competitiveness will arise at this point because older people believe that traditional and conventional methods are far more useful and never replaced with novel ones. Providing greater job possibilities and utilising both young and old people to train each other are the keys to solving this problem. It is governments' responsibility to invest in creating job opportunities and employ or maintain the elderly who are skilled and experienced so as to train younger counterparts. Besides, authorities can offer training courses for old workers in order to boost their technological knowledge. As a result, older people can benefit from the younger to learn modern technology usage at work. In conclusion, the competition among the young and the old workers will only be tackled if both groups help each other to improve their weaknesses and providing more job opportunities in the society.
It is true that competition is a significant attitude in a workplace which is more prevalence between
young
and
old
employees. There are numerous reasons regarding this issue and various measures can
be taken
by
governments
to
improve
this situation.

Higher unemployment proportion and the incursion of the innovative breakthrough are the major causes of increased competition amongst both
young
and
old
groups. Since
people
have faced economic recession in the world, the unemployment rate is rising they are more willing to maintain the
job
they have and youngsters compete with their
 
older counterparts to find a great
job
. At the same time, due to the advanced technology, employers find
young
generation more knowledgeable with higher qualifications. In this regard, youngsters are more likely to
be recruited
by them.
However
, the sense of competitiveness will arise at this point
because
older
people
believe that traditional and conventional methods are far more useful and never replaced with novel ones.

Providing greater
job
possibilities and
utilising
both
young
and
old
people
to train each other are the keys to solving this problem. It is
governments
' responsibility to invest in creating
job
opportunities and employ or maintain the elderly who
are skilled
and experienced
so as to
train younger counterparts.
Besides
, authorities can offer training courses for
old
workers in order to boost their technological knowledge.
As a result
, older
people
can benefit from the younger to learn modern technology usage at work.

In conclusion
, the competition
among
the
young
and the
old
workers will
only
be tackled
if both groups
help
each other to
improve
their weaknesses and providing more
job
opportunities in the society.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays more and more older people compete with younger people for the same jobs. What can be the reasons for this? What would you suggest as a solution? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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