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Nowadays more and more business meetings and business training are taking place online. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? v.5

Nowadays more and more business meetings and business training are taking place online. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? v. 5
Technology has made a rapid growth in the past decade because of which numerous advancement can be enjoyed by humans, and online meeting and sessions are one of them. Now, if this method has more advantages or disadvantages that we are going to discuss in this essay. The following paragraphs takes a look at both advantages as well as disadvantages of the central idea before making a final note. Let’s take the first advantage of this advancement, online training sessions and business meetings has made our life’s effortless. You have full leverage to attend these online meeting from home or from anywhere else, where you feel comfortable and peaceful. On the other hand, the drawback of this is we have less human interaction because of them, and you do not get a chance to celebrate after meeting; nevertheless, chance of making new friends. Whereas, with these virtual meetings and sessions trainer can address numerous audience at once and this can minimize the cost of organizing the event. Just few things needs to be ensure a good internet connection, as lost connection could be a major difficulty at both the ends, from sender or receiver. Furthermore, audiences can record the training or meeting with the permission from host and can learn from it later. While the drawback of this factor is as the number of audiences are more; therefore, host cannot respond each of the audience and answering their query becomes difficult. Still to overcome this, they can post their queries and host can get back to them even after meeting is over. Taking everything into consideration, I believe it is true advantages of virtual meetings or trainings surpass the drawbacks brought by it. When technology is dominating in every field then it is a great idea to implement it for saving cost and time for education or business purposes.
Technology has made a rapid growth in the past decade
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of which numerous advancement can
be enjoyed
by humans, and online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meeting
and sessions are one of them.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, if this method has more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
or disadvantages that we are going to discuss in this essay. The following paragraphs
You should probably use "take".
takes
a look at both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
disadvantages of the central
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
making a final note.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
’s take the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantage
of this advancement, online training sessions and business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meetings
has made our life’s effortless. You have full leverage to attend these online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meeting
from home or from anywhere else, where you feel comfortable and peaceful.
On the other hand
, the drawback of this is we have less human interaction
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of them, and you do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a chance to celebrate after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meeting
;
nevertheless
, chance of making new friends.

Whereas, with these virtual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meetings
and sessions trainer can address numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
audience
at once and this can minimize the cost of organizing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
few things needs to be
Consider using a past participle here: "ensured".
ensure
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
internet connection, as lost connection could be a major difficulty at both the ends, from sender or receiver.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
audiences
can record the training or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meeting
with the permission from host and can learn from it later. While the drawback of this factor is as the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
audiences
are more;
therefore
, host cannot respond each of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
audience
and answering their query becomes difficult.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Still
to overcome this, they can post their queries and host can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
back to them even after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meeting
is over.

Taking everything into consideration, I believe it is true
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
of virtual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meetings
or trainings surpass the drawbacks brought by it. When technology is dominating in every field then it is a great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to implement it for saving cost and time for education or business purposes.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays more and more business meetings and business training are taking place online. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
309 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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