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Nowadays more and more business meetings and business training are taking place online. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? v.2

Nowadays more and more business meetings and business training are taking place online. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? v. 2
It is sometimes argued that modern, diverse means of sending or receiving information such as electronic mail and messaging tools have negatively impacted the way we communicate and socialize with others. Personally, I believe that there are more benefits of these inventions, which will be discussed here. Firstly, in today’s technology focused world, communicators can save a great deal of time in the process of transmitting messages or texts. Thanks to the achievements gained in telecommunication industry, people now are able to connect with others in many parts of our planet in no time at all. Taking residents living in remote areas, such as deserts or mountains, as an example, without the help of such modern methods of communication, those people would be incrementally isolated or feel increasingly cut off from the rest of the world, which could lead to rigorous situations of tediousness and loneliness. Secondly, from the business’ perspective, email and other messaging applications are often regarded as effective and powerful tools in the expansion of promising clients. Simply by a click of sending button, a company can reach to thousands of people who might show interest or be seeking for products or services which they are providing. For instance, ads about a grandly new guitar, which can produce a wide range of sounds, are always attractive to musical schools or musicians. Consequently, this is a win-win situation for both vendors and consumers in terms of cost effectiveness and ease. Even though It is true that there are some negatives to these tools of communication, most notably a reduction in the amount of time spent for family members and socialization in many cases. However, it seems that for many of us, such drawbacks are outweighed by merits which can make our day-to-day lives much easier. In conclusion, the benefits of time-saving, connecting people and reaching potential customers combine together to make modern forms of communication and sharing information play a crucial part in the present life, especially when compared to the old days.
It is
sometimes
argued that modern, diverse means of sending or receiving information such as electronic mail and messaging tools have
negatively
impacted the way we communicate and socialize with others.
Personally
, I believe that there are more benefits of these inventions, which will
be discussed
here.

Firstly
, in
today
’s technology focused world, communicators can save a great deal of time in the process of transmitting messages or texts. Thanks to the achievements gained in telecommunication industry,
people
now
are able to connect with others in
many
parts of our planet in no time at all. Taking residents living in remote areas, such as deserts or mountains, as an example, without the
help
of such modern methods of communication, those
people
would be
incrementally
isolated or feel
increasingly
cut
off from the rest of the world, which could lead to rigorous situations of tediousness and loneliness.

Secondly
, from the business’ perspective, email and other messaging applications are
often
regarded as effective and powerful tools in the expansion of promising clients.
Simply
by a click of sending button, a
company
can reach to thousands of
people
who might
show
interest or be seeking for products or services which they are providing.
For instance
, ads about a
grandly
new guitar, which can produce a wide range of sounds, are always attractive to musical schools or musicians.
Consequently
, this is a win-win situation for both vendors and consumers in terms of
cost effectiveness
and
ease
.

Even though
It is true that there are
some
negatives to these tools of communication, most
notably
a reduction in the amount of time spent for family members and socialization in
many
cases.
However
, it seems that for
many
of us, such drawbacks
are outweighed
by merits which can
make
our day-to-day
lives
much easier.

In conclusion
, the benefits of time-saving, connecting
people
and reaching potential customers
combine together
to
make
modern forms of communication and sharing information play a crucial part in the present life,
especially
when compared to the
old
days.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS essay Nowadays more and more business meetings and business training are taking place online. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
335 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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