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Food travels thousands of miles from farmers to consumers. Some people think that it would be better for our environment and economy if people consumed locally produced foods. To what extent do the advantages of this would outweigh the disadvantages? v.2

Food travels thousands of miles from farmers to consumers. Some people think that it would be better for our environment and economy if people consumed locally produced foods. v. 2
It is often thought that in recent times, people have a plethora of choices to make about several issues of life. Personally, I utterly concur with this standpoint because of huge advancements in technology, which has made life easier, and breakthroughs in the field of medicine. To begin with, scientists have made giant strides in science and technology. Consequently, people now lead more comfortable and enjoyable lifestyles compared to the past. For instance, with the advent of faster means of transportation such as air transport, people can choose whether to fly or travel by sea or road. However, in the past, there were fewer means of mobility such as road and sea transport which were time-consuming and uncomfortable. More so, the medical field has experienced an enormous growth which had markedly improved the health and longevity of many nations. In other words, modern medicine has provided remedy to medical challenges that old traditional medicine could not solve. As a result, people can opt for the best medical services available. To illustrate, surgical procedures which require invasive manipulations can be performed laparoscopically with minimal trauma to patients. Therefore, people now have a wide range of choices to choose from with regards to their health and general wellness. In conclusion, I wholeheartedly agree that people have numerous alternative ways to achieve their various objectives and goals in life because of scientific breakthroughs and progress in the field of medicine. Thus, it is recommended that people use the best available means to achieve their goals.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that in recent times,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a plethora of choices to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
about several issues of life.
Personally
, I
utterly
concur with this standpoint
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of huge advancements in technology, which has made life easier, and breakthroughs in the field of medicine.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, scientists have made giant strides in science and technology.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
lead more comfortable and enjoyable lifestyles compared to the past.
For instance
, with the advent of faster means of transportation such as air transport,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can choose whether to
fly
or travel by sea or road.
However
, in the past, there were fewer means of mobility such as road and sea transport which were time-consuming and uncomfortable.

More
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, the medical field has experienced an enormous growth which had
markedly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
the health and longevity of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nations.
In other words
, modern medicine has provided remedy to medical challenges that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
traditional medicine could not solve.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can opt for the best medical services available. To illustrate, surgical procedures which require invasive manipulations can
be performed
Possible spelling mistake found.
laparoscopically
with minimal trauma to patients.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
have a wide range of choices to choose from
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
with regards to
their health and general wellness.

In conclusion
, I
wholeheartedly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have numerous alternative ways to achieve their various objectives and goals in life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of scientific breakthroughs and progress in the field of medicine.
Thus
, it
is recommended
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the best available means to achieve their goals.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Speak a new language so that the world will be a new world.
Rumi

IELTS essay Food travels thousands of miles from farmers to consumers. Some people think that it would be better for our environment and economy if people consumed locally produced foods. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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