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Nowadays media should include more good news in their publications. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.4

Nowadays media should include more good news in their publications. v. 4
These days, media like TV and internet have change to the most primary source for getting information among people world-wide. There is a viewpoint that the media should just disseminate good news. Personally, I agree with this view for several reasons that will mentioned as follows. Overall, the hearing of bad news have detrimental impacts on individuals specially teenager. Reports of war, for example, can create a pessimistic view from their surrounding environment. This happening worried them for future about this issue that, it perhaps occur for us, 'teenager says’. Consequently, they may became disappointed for more effort because of their anxiety. In contrast, good news, exactly hopeful them to future, and give higher motivation them for more effort and better efficiency. Another reason for this view is more calm between families. Nowadays, majority of families at the most world countries are struggle with the economy problem. For this reason it is natural that have involving mind. If media published the bad news, it can add more worry in their mind and have negative effect on their behaviour. As a personal experience, in my family, when the family members heard a news relative with the expensive or commit a crime in their nation, they arbitrarily became anxiety and aggressive behaviours emerged, but when we get decision just pay attention to the good news such as reduction of unemployment during the period of one year or science international achievements, it gradually created a good sense among family members. Therefore, I think this event help to have more grateful family. To sum up, we should accept this fact that, negative news have deleterious effects on the people manner particularly teenager and also families. Thus, in my view we should try avoiding get bad news through media and effort for receiving good news of it.
These days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
like TV and internet have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
to the most primary source for getting information among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
world-wide. There is a viewpoint that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
should
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
disseminate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
for several reasons that will mentioned as follows.

Overall
, the hearing of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
have detrimental impacts on individuals
specially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
. Reports of war,
for example
, can create a pessimistic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
from their surrounding environment. This happening worried them for future about this issue that, it perhaps
Did you mean "occurs"?
occur
for us, '
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
says’.
Consequently
, they may
The verb 'may' requires the base form of the verb: "become"
became
disappointed for more effort
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their anxiety.
In contrast
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
, exactly hopeful them to future, and give higher motivation them for more effort and better efficiency.

Another reason for this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
is more calm between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
. Nowadays,
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
at the most world countries are struggle with the economy problem.
For this reason
it is natural that have involving mind. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
published the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
, it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
more worry in their mind and have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. As a personal experience, in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members heard a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
relative with the expensive or commit a crime in their nation, they
arbitrarily
became anxiety and aggressive
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
emerged,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
when we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
decision
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
pay attention to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
such as reduction of unemployment during the period of one year or science international achievements, it
gradually
created a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
sense among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members.
Therefore
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to have more grateful family.

To sum up, we should accept this fact that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
have deleterious effects on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
manner
particularly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
and
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
.
Thus
, in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
we should try avoiding
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
and effort for receiving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
of it.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
Language is wine upon the lips. – Virginia WoolfInspirational quotes for language learners
Virginia Woolf

IELTS essay Nowadays media should include more good news in their publications. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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