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Nowadays media should include more good news in their publications. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.1

Nowadays media should include more good news in their publications. v. 1
Owing to rapidly growing trend of negative news being highlighted more often nowadays, it has been suggested that media ought to focus on presenting more of positive news in their broadcasting forms. In my opinion, I completely affirm with this notion as this will spread positivity as well as instill a sence of progression and security amongst the denizens. To begin with, displaying a content based out of good news will promote optimism and help people to lead an efficacious life. In other words, when people would see news which mainly focuses on positive happenings, they would not only feel happy but also would complete their work and duties effectively. Moreover, this positivity will result in more peace and harmony in society. For example, the news of construction of Statue of Unity in India has made an impression in the individuals’ mindset to be more enthusiatic and have a nonviolent approach towards life. Clearly, such broadcastings should be done on a regular basis to inculcate unity and positive attitude between humans globally. Additionally, media emphasising on positive news also grabs the attention of people on latest developments as well as faciliates them to feel secure. For instance, media broadcastings such as highlighting signing peace treaties among nations as well as adding armoury strength to the national forces make masses to feel proud and assured. Furthermore, with the news of technological advancements as well as new regulations, it has been seen that there has a ben significant drop in the crime rate, which not only makes the country safer but also attractes the foreign tourists to visit the nation. Undoubtedly, by spreading such positive wibes internationally will boost the overall economy and promote the tourist destinations of the nation. To conclude, evidently it is vital for media companies to spread good news as this will spread optimism and a sense of reliability globally, which will bring deluge of benefits to the individual nations as well as society as a whole. Therefore, I strongly believe that media should prioritize focusing on content based on positive information.
Owing to
rapidly
growing trend of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
being highlighted
more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
nowadays, it has
been suggested
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
ought to focus on presenting more of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
in their broadcasting forms. In my opinion, I completely affirm with this notion as this will spread positivity as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as instill a
Possible spelling mistake found.
sence
of progression and security amongst the denizens.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, displaying a content based out of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
will promote optimism and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to lead an efficacious life.
In other words
, when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
which
mainly
focuses on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
happenings, they would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
feel happy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
would complete their work and duties
effectively
.
Moreover
, this positivity will result in more peace and harmony in society.
For example
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
of construction of Statue of Unity in India has made an impression in the individuals’ mindset to be more
Possible spelling mistake found.
enthusiatic
and have a nonviolent approach towards life.
Clearly
, such
Possible spelling mistake found.
broadcastings
should
be done
on a regular basis to inculcate unity and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
attitude between humans globally.

Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
Possible spelling mistake. 'emphasising' is British English.
emphasising
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
also
grabs the attention of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
on latest developments as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as
Possible spelling mistake found.
faciliates
them to feel secure.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
Possible spelling mistake found.
broadcastings
such as highlighting signing peace treaties
Do not mix variants of the same word ('among' and 'amongst') within a single text.
among
nations as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as adding
Possible spelling mistake found.
armoury
strength to the national forces
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
masses to feel proud and assured.
Furthermore
, with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
of technological advancements as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
regulations, it has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that there has a
Possible spelling mistake found.
ben
significant drop in the crime rate, which not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the country safer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
Possible spelling mistake found.
attractes
the foreign tourists to visit the nation.
Undoubtedly
, by spreading such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
Possible spelling mistake found.
wibes
internationally
will boost the
overall
economy and promote the tourist destinations of the nation.

To conclude
,
evidently
it is vital for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
to spread
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
as this will spread optimism and a sense of reliability globally, which will bring deluge of benefits to the individual nations as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as society as a whole.
Therefore
, I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
should prioritize focusing on content based on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
information.
28Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay Nowadays media should include more good news in their publications. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
344 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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