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Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree? v.13

Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. v. 13
From the start of 21st century social networking sites have been a part of almost everyone's daily life. According to many people such websites have bad effects on society. This essay will argue that websites like Facebook may have some negatives, but this doesn't hide the fact that these sites are very useful. A large number of people consider social networking sites bad for the society but what makes them think this way? After the evolution of Facebook people have started being in touch mostly through it and they rarely see each other in person as well as they have started spending more time in front of screens which gradually is affecting people's health. For example, a study showed that in 1998 an average person's time spent in front of computer screen daily was 57 minutes where as in 2008 it rose dramatically to 2 hours and 45 minutes. This is the proof that social networking sites have affected almost every individual's daily routine. Although the people against social networking sites may have valid reasons the fact that these sites have helped improve the communication can't be left unseen. Nowadays people can interact, share important data and advertise through an online social network in a matter of seconds, which makes it a lot easier and quicker for individuals and businesses to work. For instance, according to a well known business magazine a product gets 3 times more exposure when advertised on social network sites as compared to a newspaper or television. Online social networks have proven to be very useful for individuals and businesses both. This essay argued that people against Facebook and other such sites have a flawed understanding of the concept of online social networking. In my opinion, these sites have been a revolution in communication and marketing and can be used for uncountable benefits despite having some negative impacts.
From the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
of 21st century
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
have been a part of almost everyone's daily life. According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
such websites have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effects on society. This essay will argue that websites like Facebook may have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
negatives,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this doesn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hide
the fact that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful.

Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
A large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
for the society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
what
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this way? After the evolution of Facebook
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
being in touch
mostly
through
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
it and
they rarely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
each other in person
as well
as they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
spending more time in front of screens which
gradually
is affecting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's health.
For example
, a study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that in 1998 an average person's time spent in front of computer screen daily was 57 minutes
Did you mean "whereas"?
where as
in 2008 it rose
dramatically
to 2 hours and 45 minutes. This is the proof that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
almost every individual's daily routine.

“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
may have valid reasons the fact that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the communication can't be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
unseen. Nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can interact, share
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
data and advertise through an online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
network in a matter of seconds, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it a lot easier and quicker for individuals and businesses to work.
For instance
, according to a well known business magazine a product
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
3 times more exposure when advertised on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
network
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
as compared to a newspaper or television. Online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networks have proven to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful for individuals and businesses both.

This essay argued that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
against Facebook and other such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
have a flawed understanding of the concept of online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking. In my opinion, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
have been a revolution in communication and marketing and can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for uncountable benefits despite having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. v. 13

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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