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Nowadays many young people leave home at an early age to either study or work in another city. Do you think this has more advantages or disadvantages for young people? v.1

Nowadays many young people leave home at an early age to either study or work in another city. Do you think this has more advantages or disadvantages for young people? v. 1
These days, to get a better job opportunity or better education, many young people leave their house and go to continue their life far away from their families. This growing trend has both pros and cons which will be elucidated in the following paragraphs. I personally feel that leaving home for a better education or career is a right step to take. On the one hand, if young people live separately, they will learn how to become self-reliant and make decisions independently. For example, when those young people live with their family, most of their tasks are done by their parents. However, when they start living far away, they learn how to manage their time, clean the house, do laundry, cook and pay the bills and so on. Also, they will learn the value of money and try to spend it reasonability and save it for the future. Furthermore, they make new friends and learn about diverse customs and cultures. On the other hand, when those young live alone, there are lots of responsibilities to take which they often fail to complete accurately. Initially, this perhaps leads them to feel isolated and if they do not find a suitable way to get rid of that, it causes depression. Furthermore, they are often not mature enough to avoid the pitfalls of bad company and habits. So, if they find inappropriate friends or roommates who have bad habits, they would probably get involved in unethical acts and crimes. In conclusion, from what has been discussed, although living alone may have some drawbacks but it leads to young people bringing up more independent which it is essential for their entire life.
These days, to
get
a better job opportunity or better education,
many
young
people
leave
their
house
and go to continue their life far away from their families. This growing trend has both pros and cons which will
be elucidated
in the following paragraphs. I
personally
feel that leaving home for a better education or career is a right step to take.

On the one hand, if
young
people
live
separately
, they will
learn
how to become self-reliant and
make
decisions
independently
.
For example
, when those
young
people
live
with their family, most of their tasks
are done
by their parents.
However
, when they
start
living far away, they
learn
how to manage their time, clean the
house
, do laundry, cook and pay the bills and
so
on.
Also
, they will
learn
the value of money and try to spend it reasonability and save it for the future.
Furthermore
, they
make
new friends and
learn
about diverse customs and cultures.

On the other hand
, when those
young
live
alone, there are lots of responsibilities to take which they
often
fail to complete
accurately
.
Initially
, this perhaps leads them to feel isolated and if they do not find a suitable way to
get
rid of that, it causes depression.
Furthermore
, they are
often
not mature
enough
to avoid the pitfalls of
bad
company
and habits.
So
, if they find inappropriate friends or roommates who have
bad
habits, they would
probably
get
involved in unethical acts and crimes.

In conclusion
, from what has
been discussed
, although living alone may have
some
drawbacks
but
it leads to
young
people
bringing up more independent which it is essential for their entire life.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay Nowadays many young people leave home at an early age to either study or work in another city. Do you think this has more advantages or disadvantages for young people? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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