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Large businesses have big budgets for marketing and promotion and, as a result, people gravitate towards buying their products. v.10

Large businesses have big budgets for marketing and promotion and, as a result, people gravitate towards buying their products. v. 10
Large businesses and international brands spend an enormous amount of money for marketing and advertising. Consequently, people tend to watch those advertisements all the time while small local businesses fail to reach the customers. This can lead to some serious problems, such as the closure of local businesses and the monopoly in business. Other than that, people could be easily trapped by large businesses. There are few steps that can be adopted to address this issue and motivate people to buy local products. Naturally, people prefer to buy products that were consciously or unconsciously publicised to their mind and thus many local businesses, even with their quality products, cannot attract consumers. The dominance of international brands and large businesses will destroy the market for locally made products and thus would make thousands of people unemployed. Moreover, large markets do their very best to attract the public attention to their products and advertising is one of the best tools they have. Sensitive, creative and deceptive advertisements and marketing policies often make the people believe that they need these products. This would create a monopoly in the market and people would often be deceived. Thus consumers would be trapped by the large businesses and would have no alternatives for them but to buy products of some particular brands. In order to encourage people to buy local products, some solutions should be taken into account. The government should strictly monitor and ban any deceptive and illusory advertisement from the mass media. People should compare a product's quality before purchasing from shops and the shop owners must shelf local products along with the branded products. Furthermore, a government authority should rate and review any product and disclose it to the public. Finally, local product manufacturers should be financially supported by the banks and the government as they are helpful for the economic progress of a country. Absolute dominance of large businesses can have unimaginable effects that can damage a city's or even a country's financial situation. A solution to this problem is systematising local markets and creating a closely integrated system that can have an effective outcome.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
and international brands spend an enormous amount of money for marketing and advertising.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
those advertisements all the time while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
fail to reach the customers. This can lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
serious problems, such as the closure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
and the monopoly in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
. Other than that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could be
easily
trapped by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
. There are few steps that can
be adopted
to address this issue and motivate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
products.

Naturally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
that were
consciously
or
unconsciously
Possible spelling mistake. 'publicised' is British English.
publicised
to their mind and
thus
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
, even with their quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, cannot attract consumers. The dominance of international brands and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
for
locally
made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and
thus
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
thousands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
unemployed.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
markets do their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
best to attract the public attention to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and advertising is one of the best tools they have. Sensitive, creative and deceptive advertisements and marketing policies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that they need these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. This would create a monopoly in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
be deceived
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
consumers would
be trapped
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
and would have no alternatives for them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
particular brands.

In order to encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions should
be taken
into account. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
strictly
monitor and ban any deceptive and illusory advertisement from the mass media.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should compare a product's quality
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
purchasing from shops and the shop owners
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
shelf
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
along with the branded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
Furthermore
, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
authority should rate and review any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
and disclose it to the public.
Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
manufacturers should be
financially
supported by the banks and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
as they are helpful for the economic progress of a country.

Absolute dominance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
can have unimaginable effects that can damage a city's or even a country's financial situation. A solution to this problem is
Possible spelling mistake. 'systematising' is British English.
systematising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
markets and creating a
closely
integrated system that can have an effective outcome.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
49Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Large businesses have big budgets for marketing and promotion and, as a result, people gravitate towards buying their products. v. 10

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
353 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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