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Nowadays, many schools find it profitable to sell unhealthy food and sugary drinks to students during lunch breaks. is this a positive or negative development. v.1

Nowadays, many schools find it profitable to sell unhealthy food and sugary drinks to students during lunch breaks. is this a positive or negative development. v. 1
There has been an increase in unhealthy lifestyle globally. Recently, educational institutions have imbibed the habit of serving meals that are not healthy for her students. This essay will argue that this is a negative development and give reasons why this is so. In my opinion, schools serving unhealthy food to her students is not a positive trend. In recent times, the world has experienced a rise in diseases of affluence such as heart disease and obesity, which are caused by drinks with high sugar content and foods with high unsaturated fats. These illnesses are caused by not living a healthy lifestyle and this includes the food we eat. A study carried out at Harvard revealed that, in the next 10 years, teenagers and kids will be at risk for these illnesses. Hence, this is the time to watch and monitor the eating habits of children, rather than feed them with junks. In addition, the school is supposed to be a safe haven because kids cling to the habits and principles they learn in school. In times like this where there are no policies, rules or regulations by the government about good living, it is expected that the institutes in the society take up the mantle and lead kids alright, and not lead them astray by encouraging unhealthy eating. If we Are to curb the diseases of affluence epidemic, the schools should be our starting point. For instance, a reduction in heart diseases was observed in Australia in the last decade after the government implemented a "healthy food only" policy in the institutions nationwide. Therefore, it is quite essential that we get it right in our schools. In conclusion, many schools sell unhealthy meals to their students. This essay argued that this trend is not a healthy one.
There has been an increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
lifestyle globally. Recently, educational institutions have imbibed the habit of serving meals that are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
for her students. This essay will argue that this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development and give reasons why this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.

In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
serving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
to her students is not a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend. In recent times, the world has experienced a rise in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
of affluence such as heart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
and obesity, which
are caused
by drinks with high sugar content and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
with high unsaturated fats. These illnesses
are caused
by not living a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
lifestyle and this includes the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
we eat. A study carried out at Harvard revealed that, in the
next
10 years,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
and kids will be at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
for these illnesses.
Hence
, this is the time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
and monitor the eating habits of children,
rather
than feed them with junks.

In addition
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is supposed
to be a safe haven
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
kids cling to the habits and principles they learn in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. In times like this where there are no policies,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
or regulations by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
living, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
that the institutes in the society take up the mantle and lead kids alright, and not lead them astray by encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
eating. If
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
we


Are to curb the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
of affluence epidemic, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should be our starting point.
For instance
, a reduction in heart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
was observed
in Australia in the last decade after the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
implemented a
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
policy in the institutions nationwide.
Therefore
, it is quite essential that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
it right in our schools.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
sell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
meals to their students. This essay argued that this trend is not a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
one.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS essay Nowadays, many schools find it profitable to sell unhealthy food and sugary drinks to students during lunch breaks. is this a positive or negative development. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
298 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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