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Improvements in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.12

Improvements in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. with this opinion? v. 12
These days, our world has become a global village. Many developed nations are helping under developing countries through funds and experienced manpower in order to enhance their living standards. I completely agree with this notion that world economic powers should play a more vigilant role towards under privileged nations so that they can make progress in various fields of life. To begin with, affluent countries can provide generous funding to support the literacy, fitness and business sectors in impoverished countries. The financial assistance can be directly given to poorer country government officials so that they can distribute money to different departments without corruption. To illustrate, America has been providing aid to Pakistan for many years through the US- AID program. The purpose of this funding is not only to enhance the quality of education and health in economically deprived rural areas but also to support local trade. Thus, first-world nations can contribute positively towards the betterment of destitute people in under developing countries. Another way the foreign wealthy government can use to help is through training and educating local professionals to establish the best facilities in underdeveloped sectors in their countries. The experience and qualified staff from the developed world can organize training sessions, which are useful to share their experience with the use of modern technology to improve health, trade and education fields. For example, China has started various new programs to help South Asian countries under the supervision of trained and qualified Chinese doctors, an engineers and business developers. The aim of this project is to provide technical and theoretical knowledge-based aid to poorer nations in South Asia. Hence, experienced individuals in science and technology are working to improve the living standards of third world countries. To sum up, there is a need to take steps that are most effective from rich nations to support under the developing world in teaching, health, and trade sector. This help can be in the form of money and intensive training from highly experience professionals
These days, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
has become a global village.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
are helping under developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
through funds and experienced manpower in order to enhance their living standards. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this notion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
economic powers should play a more vigilant role towards under privileged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
progress in various fields of life.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, affluent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can provide generous funding to support the literacy, fitness and business sectors in impoverished
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. The financial assistance can be
directly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
officials
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can distribute money to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
departments without corruption. To illustrate, America has been providing aid to Pakistan for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years through the US- AID program. The purpose of this funding is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to enhance the quality of education and health in
economically
deprived rural areas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to support local trade.
Thus
,
first
-world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
can contribute
positively
towards the betterment of destitute
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in under
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
.

Another way the foreign wealthy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
is through training and educating local professionals to establish the best facilities in underdeveloped sectors in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. The experience and qualified staff from the developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
can organize training sessions, which are useful to share their experience with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of modern technology to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
health, trade and education fields.
For example
, China has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
various new programs to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
South Asian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
under the supervision of trained and qualified Chinese doctors, an engineers and business developers. The aim of this project is to provide technical and theoretical knowledge-based aid to poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
in South Asia.
Hence
, experienced individuals in science and technology are working to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the living standards of third
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
countries.

To sum up, there is a need to take steps that are most effective from rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
to support under the developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
in teaching, health, and trade sector. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
can be in the form of money and intensive training from
highly
experience
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
professionals
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay Improvements in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. with this opinion? v. 12

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
332 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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