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Nowadays many people working from home. Some think it is beneficial to the employee, others think it may distract the family routine. What is my opinion? v.2

Nowadays many people working from home. Some think it is beneficial to the employee, others think it may distract the family routine. What is my opinion? v. 2
All over the world, the art is considered a vital part of all cultures. With the passage of time, people are showing more interested towards science, technology and business instead art. In this essay I will discuss why people taking less interest in the arts and more driven toward business, technology and science and what steps should be taken to attract people towards the arts. While it is true that the arts enrich culture, it plays little or no role in improving our lives. For instance, one does not have to admire great paintings or marvel at brilliant sculptures for live comfortably. This does not the case with science and technology. Take, for instance, it is impossible to live without electricity. Hence, Science and technology play a crucial role in our lives. Additionally, the art is not considered a viable career option. In the arts, people have fewer job opportunity as compare to business, science and technology. So, young adults prefer to study business, science and technology rather than arts. Thus, people are more attentive towards business, science and technology instead of the arts. The art and culture coexist. Culture cannot survive without the art. This shows the importance of the arts. One way of doing this is to make arts a viable career option and also increase awareness among the people by including the arts related subjects in school. The Government should create more jobs in the arts sector and give special incentives to a masterpiece of art. In this way, children should take more interest in arts activities. For instance, in Canada, after taking proper steps towards job creation in the arts sector, the interest of people increased 20 percent in the arts. To Conclude, the most effective way to nurture arts is to capitalize on its economic potential. The Government can do this by creating jobs in this sector.
All over the world, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is considered
a vital part of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
. With the passage of time,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are showing more interested towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
instead
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
. In this essay I will discuss why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
taking less interest in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
and more driven toward
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and what steps should
be taken
to attract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
towards the arts.

While it is true that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
enrich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
, it plays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
or no role in improving our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
.
For instance
, one does not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
admire great paintings or marvel at brilliant sculptures for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
comfortably
. This does not the case with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. Take,
for instance
, it is impossible to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
without electricity.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
play a crucial role in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
.
Additionally
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is not considered a viable career option. In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunity as compare to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, young adults prefer to study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more attentive towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
instead
of the arts.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
coexist.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Culture
cannot survive without the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the importance of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
. One way of doing this is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
a viable career option and
also
increase awareness among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by including the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
related subjects in school. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
should create more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
sector and give special incentives to a masterpiece of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
. In this way, children should take more interest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
activities.
For instance
, in Canada, after taking proper steps towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
creation in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
sector, the interest of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
increased 20 percent in the arts.

To Conclude
, the most effective way to nurture
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
is to capitalize on its economic potential. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
can do this by creating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
in this sector.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS essay Nowadays many people working from home. Some think it is beneficial to the employee, others think it may distract the family routine. What is my opinion? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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