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Nowadays, many people spend less and less time at home. What are the causes of this? What are the effects of this on individual and on the society v.1

Nowadays, many people spend less and less time at home. What are the causes of this? What are the effects of this on individual and on the society v. 1
In recent times, people often spend avhuge amount of time away from home. This is due to long hours spent at work and traffic gridlock which eventually create a negative effect on the individuals and the society at large. On one hand, several factors cause individuals to spend less time at home. One main reason is their job. This is because people need to make income in order to maintain a good standard of living. This is to say that they have to provide for their daily needs and that of their family. Also, traffic is another contributing factor. This can be as a result of a large number of cars on the road and poor conditions of roads. People living far from their place of work can also be a causative factor as they spend a lot of time on the road. A recent research conducted in Lagos concluded that one third of an individual time is spent on traffic jam. On the other hand, spending less time at home has a large effect on the individuals and society. Firstly, people will face lack of social life and communication which will affect their character negatively. Additionally, children from such homes often times feel neglected and withdrawn due to the fact that they feel unloved by their care givers. Furthermore, spending little time at home reduces productivity. This is to say that workers will not be able to deliver at their full capacity resulting from stress which can be gotten from spending huge amount of time away from home. Thus, affecting the economy of the society. Conclusively, although there are reasons why people stay away from their residence, its effect can be felt on their character and work output and also on the nation's economy.
In recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
spend
Possible spelling mistake found.
avhuge
amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
away from home. This is due to long hours spent at work and traffic gridlock which
eventually
create a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
and the society at large.

On one hand, several factors cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
to spend less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
at home. One main reason is their job. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
income in order to maintain a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
standard of living. This is to say that they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
provide for their daily needs and that of their family.
Also
, traffic is another contributing factor. This can be
as a result
of
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
cars on the road and poor conditions of roads.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
living far from their place of work can
also
be a causative factor as they spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on the road. A recent research conducted in Lagos concluded that one third of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is spent
on traffic jam.

On the other hand
, spending less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
at home has a large effect on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
and society.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will face lack of social life and communication which will affect their character
negatively
.
Additionally
, children from such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
feel neglected and withdrawn due to the fact that they feel unloved by their care givers.
Furthermore
, spending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
at home
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
productivity. This is to say that workers will not be able to deliver at their full capacity resulting from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
which can
be gotten
from spending huge amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
away from home.
Thus
, affecting the economy of the society.

Conclusively
, although there are reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
stay away from their residence, its effect can
be felt
on their character and work output and
also
on the nation's economy.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay Nowadays, many people spend less and less time at home. What are the causes of this? What are the effects of this on individual and on the society v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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