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Creative artists should be given the freedom to express their ideas ( through words, pictures, music or films). However, some people think government should impose certain restrictions on them. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

Creative artists should be given the freedom to express their ideas ( through words, pictures, music or films). However, some people think government should impose certain restrictions on them. v. 2
Some people claim that in real democracy artists should be able to express their ideas freely while others stand for a restriction of this right. I firmly believe that this kind of freedom must not be curtailed when it comes to the creative process. To start with, the freedom of speech is a basic right of every citizen, more so for artists. The ideas of an artist are often expressed not in his speeches, but through his artistic work. For instance, a picture tells us more about the painter and his intimate thoughts and feelings than his words do. Moreover, art is impossible under restrictions. An artist shows the world from his unique point of view, and the importance of being truthful in sharing this view cannot be overestimated. If artists can only approach an issue in ways approved by the authority and if they are in fear of being thrown into prison by expressing their ideas honestly, art ceases to be art. Finally, artists should influence political decisions, not vice versa. The human development is indeed concerned with challenging old norms and proposing new ideas. If we impose restrictions on music, literature and film industry, our society will stop evolving so rapidly or even stagnate. 

In conclusion, governments should not impose censorship or restrictions on artistic creation. Artists should have their freedom of expression as long as this freedom is not used as an excuse for illegal activities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that in real democracy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
should be able to express their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideas
freely
while others stand for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restriction
of this right. I
firmly
believe that this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not
be curtailed
when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to the creative process.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
of speech is a basic right of every citizen, more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideas
of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artist
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
expressed not in his speeches,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
through his artistic work.
For instance
, a picture
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tells
us more about the painter and his intimate thoughts and feelings than his words do.

Moreover
, art is impossible under
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restrictions
. An
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artist
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the world from his unique point of view, and the importance of being truthful in sharing this view cannot
be overestimated
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
approach an issue in ways approved by the authority and if they are in fear of
being thrown
into prison by expressing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideas
honestly
, art ceases to be art.

Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
should influence political decisions, not vice versa. The human development is
indeed
concerned with challenging
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
norms and proposing new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideas
. If we impose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restrictions
on music, literature and film industry, our society will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
evolving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
rapidly
or even stagnate.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace



In conclusion
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should not impose censorship or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restrictions
on artistic creation.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Artists
should have their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
of expression as long as this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as an excuse for illegal activities.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay Creative artists should be given the freedom to express their ideas ( through words, pictures, music or films). However, some people think government should impose certain restrictions on them. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
239 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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