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Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed? v.12

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed? v. 12
We have reached a stage in our society in which professional satisfaction is of great importance. Recently, we have witnessed a trend in which more and more people move away from companies and organizations to be self-employed. This essay will analyse why self-employment became so popular and what are its possible disadvantages. The biggest and most important benefit of self-employment is the control that comes with it. All of the decisions are taken by you. For instance, it is up to you to decide what to work, when or how, as you do not need to respect any schedule. You will not have to follow the instructions given by a manager. You are free to do your work as you find fit. However, you are responsible for everything that happens. In this case, whenever something goes wrong, you have to fix it. This responsibility may become overwhelming and can lead to more serious problems, such as anxiety, high levels of stress and even depression. Every person who desires to be self-employed must be prepared to take responsibility for its actions and face any problems that come up. Moreover, not having colleagues may lead to social problems. It is well known that people need to socialize to maintain their sanity. Keeping in mind that the usual work-rate is about 8 hours per day, the lack of socializing during work represents a serious problem. In this case, working in a company may be better for your social life. Nowadays, people desire to have control over their lives and self-employment is one of the best ways through which they can achieve that. Even though working on your own means more potential risks and responsibilities, in the end, the possibility to have control over your life overruns all of the disadvantages.
We have reached a stage in our society in which professional satisfaction is of great importance. Recently, we have witnessed a trend in which more and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
away from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and organizations to be self-employed. This essay will
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
why self-employment became
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
popular and what are its possible disadvantages.

The biggest and most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
benefit of self-employment is the control that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
with it.
Consider using "all the".
All of the
decisions
are taken
by you.
For instance
, it is up to you to decide what to work, when or how, as you do not need to respect any schedule. You will not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
follow the instructions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by a manager. You are free to do your work as you find fit.

However
, you are responsible for everything that happens.
In this case
, whenever something goes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
, you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
it. This responsibility may become overwhelming and can lead to more serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
, such as anxiety, high levels of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and even depression. Every person who desires to be self-employed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be prepared
to take responsibility for its actions and face any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up.

Moreover
, not having colleagues may lead to social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. It is well known that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
need to socialize to maintain their sanity. Keeping in mind that the usual work-rate is about 8 hours per day, the lack of socializing during work represents a serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
In this case
, working in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
may be better for your social life.

Nowadays,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
desire to have control over their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and self-employment is one of the best ways through which they can achieve that.
Even though
working on your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
means more potential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
and responsibilities, in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, the possibility to have control over your life overruns
Consider using "all the".
all of the
disadvantages.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed? v. 12

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
297 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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