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Nowadays many people choose to be self employed rather than to work for a company or organisation Why might this be the case What could be the disadvantages of being self employed v.1

Nowadays many people choose to be self employed rather than to work for a company or organisation Why might this be the case What could be the disadvantages of being self employed v. 1
Most individuals find it difficult to manage both their professional and other responsibilities of lives. This essay will discuss two main causes of this unbalanced job-life, including increased job pressure and low wages. It will also suggest two main solutions to these problems comprising of restricted job hours permission and raised salary. The hourly compensations are very less. In addition, there is increased employment stress. This is because the workforce is a competitive domain. People work extra hours to impress their superiors in order to get the better end of year appraisal and earn more to support their families. For example, the number of hours an average worker gives to their employer is 60 per week in the United States. For these reasons, many individuals are not able to provide time to their other parts of life. Limiting maximum of working hours and increasing minimum wage are both critical to mitigating work-life balance. People need to realize that if they live only for work, they will stress themselves both mentally and physically. Governments should also recognize the problem and increase hourly compensation. To exemplify, most employees burn out from working too much and neglect their families, friends, and other hobbies. Therefore, in order to improve balance between professional and personal life, one must maintain a better ratio of labour time and the authorities should compensate employers better. In conclusion, a great deal of people finds it troublesome to maintain balance between work and other hobbies of their lives. This essay discussed the two main reasons for this being increased job pressure and low stipend. It also suggested the solutions to these problems are twofold: limited work hours and increased salary.
Most individuals find it difficult to manage both their professional and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
responsibilities of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. This essay will discuss two main causes of this unbalanced job-life, including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
job pressure and low wages. It will
also
suggest two main solutions to these problems
Did you mean "comprising" or "consisting of"?
comprising of
restricted job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
permission and raised salary.

The hourly compensations are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
less.
In addition
, there is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
employment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the workforce is a competitive domain.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
to impress their superiors in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of year appraisal and earn more to support their families.
For example
, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
an average worker gives to their employer is 60 per week in the United States. For these reasons,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals are not able to provide time to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
parts of life.

Limiting maximum of working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
and increasing minimum wage are both critical to mitigating work-life balance.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
need to realize that if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
themselves both mentally and
physically
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
should
also
recognize the problem and increase hourly compensation. To exemplify, most employees burn out from working too much and neglect their families, friends, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hobbies.
Therefore
, in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
balance between professional and personal life, one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
maintain a better ratio of
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
time and the authorities should compensate employers better.

In conclusion
, a great deal of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
finds it troublesome to maintain balance between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hobbies of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. This essay discussed the two main reasons for this being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
job pressure and low stipend. It
also
suggested the solutions to these problems are twofold: limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
salary.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays many people choose to be self employed rather than to work for a company or organisation Why might this be the case What could be the disadvantages of being self employed v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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