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The pie charts below give information about the composition of household rubbish in the United Kingdom in two different years Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant v.1

The pie charts below give information about the composition of household rubbish in the United Kingdom in two different years
With the emergence of computers and internet this modern days, it is now possible to read books online. Some people prefer this because it is easier to access and sometimes, does not even cost a penny. On the other hand, reading too many books through a computer will have an effect on a person's health and libraries will no longer be utilized. In this sense, I say that these disadvantages outweigh the advantages. These electronic books are, in fact, more accessible especially to students around the world. Available reading materials such as journals and novels can be found instantly by searching them online. For this reason, there are more people who own a laptop or a tablet rather than those who own printed books. Another reason is that people do not need to buy most of these materials as they can be easily downloaded and viewed at any time of the day. On another note, the use of electronic devices in reading exposes people to several health issues that, in time, will become severe. For example, exposure to computers will strain the eyes due to radiation produced by the gadget. In addition, it might worsen into a blurry vision. Futhermore, people will have limited motion once they are in front of a computer which may result to poor body posture. For instance, the number of students having scoliosis is increasing due to the fact that they prefer staying at home doing homework using their laptops rather than going to the public library and utilizing the reading materials available. While it is true that it takes more time to search for specific books in a library, as a student, these reading materials are more reliable since they were edited and published accordingly. I can say that these disadvantages affect people's lifestyles in a considerable way, thus, outweighing its benefits. In conclusion, while it is true that utilizing electronic devices for reading makes it easier, it has more bad effects than good. I believe that it is still more advisable to read paper books as these are more accurate which is worth the time searching for the right reading material.
With the emergence of computers and internet this modern days, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
possible to read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
online.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is easier to access and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
, does not even cost a penny.
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
through a computer will have an effect on a person's health and libraries will no longer
be utilized
. In this sense, I say that these disadvantages outweigh the advantages.

These electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are, in fact, more accessible
especially
to students around the world. Available
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
such as journals and novels can
be found
instantly
by searching them online.
For this reason
, there are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
a laptop or a tablet
rather
than those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
. Another reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
most of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
as they can be
easily
downloaded and viewed at any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of the day.

On another note, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of electronic devices in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
exposes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to several health issues that, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, will become severe.
For example
, exposure to computers will strain the eyes due to radiation produced by the gadget.
In addition
, it might worsen into a blurry vision.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Futhermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will have limited motion once they are in front of a computer which may result to poor body posture.
For instance
, the number of students having scoliosis is increasing due to the fact that they prefer staying at home doing homework using their laptops
rather
than going to the public library and utilizing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
available. While it is true that it takes more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to search for specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
in a library, as a student, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
are more reliable since they
were edited
and published
accordingly
. I can say that these disadvantages affect
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's lifestyles
Consider replacing "in a considerable way" with the adverb for "considerable"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a considerable way
,
thus
, outweighing its benefits.

In conclusion
, while it is true that utilizing electronic devices for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it easier, it has more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effects than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
. I believe that it is
still
more advisable to read paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
as these are more accurate which is worth the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
searching for the right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
material
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The pie charts below give information about the composition of household rubbish in the United Kingdom in two different years

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
358 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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