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Some people think that social networking have so many benefits other think that not discuss both the option. v.2

Some people think that social networking have so many benefits other think that not v. 2
With the rise in modernisation A man has transferred his life tremondously. he has progressed from walking a barefooted in the jungle to take the first step on moon. nevertheless, there are some issues which remains irrevocable and complex as ever for instance this topic asserts that benefits of social networking: or not? through this I shall explore my point of view into follow paragraphs with example and assertion and shape up my opinion. To begin with, that social networking is play main role in every persons life at presence time. Because through technological advancement takes place. however, there are many unique role into personal to professional life of every one. however, social networking has one common of media. moreover, media is the platform for popular of singer, celebrity, directors and others. Afterthat, they interfere in every people life for advertising. Whereas, they have professional work progressed without any breaking. Regarding, social networking are commonly by media. Secondly, the method of celebrity popular also through social networking develop; Hollywood, Bollywood: movie, songs of singer, celebrity. However they are successful into life. Moreover, celebrity has all work related to network from starting to ending point. Afterthat, they spend all at their profession for development of new categories; songs, serial, movies. Whereas they have successfully by networking department. They can not progressed without networking purpose. Nevertheless, they have been heavily part of everyone of life necessity preparation. For example, A survey conducted by Indian government about social networking for only celebrity profession related because only puts more improvement into networking work as well as technology advancement. At the end, nevertheless, weighing both the options there is no single answer to this question however I shall explore my point of view into on paragraphs. That social networking spread rapidly into every advancement. Moreover, they have main impact on every people life.
With the rise in
Possible spelling mistake. 'modernisation' is British English.
modernisation
A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
has transferred his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
Possible spelling mistake found.
tremondously
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
he
has progressed from walking a barefooted in the jungle to take the
first
step on moon.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
nevertheless
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
issues which remains irrevocable and complex as ever
for instance
this topic asserts that benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking: or not?
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
through
this I shall explore my point of view into follow paragraphs with example and assertion and shape up my opinion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking is play main role in every
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "persons'" or "person's"?
persons
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
at presence time.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
through technological advancement takes place.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
however
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
unique
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "roles"?
role
into personal to professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of every one.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
however
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking has one common of media.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
moreover
, media is the platform for popular of singer,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
, directors
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Afterthat
, they interfere in every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
for advertising.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, they have professional work progressed without any breaking. Regarding,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking are
commonly
by media.

Secondly
, the method of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
popular
also
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking develop; Hollywood, Bollywood: movie, songs of singer,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
they are successful into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
has all work related to network from starting to ending point.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Afterthat
, they spend all at their profession for development of new categories; songs, serial, movies.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
they have
successfully
by networking department. They can not
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "progress"
progressed
without networking purpose.
Nevertheless
, they have been
heavily
part of everyone of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
necessity preparation.
For example
, A survey conducted by Indian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
profession related
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
puts more improvement into networking work
as well
as technology advancement.

At the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
,
nevertheless
, weighing both the options there is no single answer to this question
however
I shall explore my point of view into on paragraphs. That
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking spread
rapidly
into every advancement.
Moreover
, they have main impact on every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that social networking have so many benefits other think that not v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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