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Nowadays many countries have very cosmopolitan cities with people from all over the world. How can the government ensure that all these people can live together harmoniously? v.2

Nowadays many countries have very cosmopolitan cities with people from all over the world. How can the government ensure that all these people can live together harmoniously? v. 2
Nowadays, many experts think that the community are exercising less. This essay will discuss the two main causes and the possible solutions that will solve this issue. There are two main reasons why this behaviour occurs. Firstly, is the easy access to vehicles. Regardless of the distance, many people these days are likely to use private cars or public transportations to reach their destination. Due to this, the body adjusts to their lack of body movements and causes them to be lazier. Additionally, the use of mobile phones has greatly affected this matter. In 2015, for instance, researchers discovered that online applications such as Facebook and Twitter users are the cause for the younger generation to get obesities, as they generally spend more than 8 hours on their phone, restricting them to go to the sport facilities. Therefore, the accessible modern vehicles and mobile phones are the two main reasons why the community are unlikely to exercise. Nevertheless, there are several solutions that can address this issue such as to raise awareness, to force individuals to move and to have the government's aid. Raising awareness in the society by informing the effectofobesitiesthroughadvertisementsoftenwillchangethemindsetofthesocietyandallowthemtobe motivated. Furthermore, the community needs to work together to force individual to do body movements during office hours or school classes. Lastly, as government plays a huge role in the current society, they will be able to spend more funds to build sport facilities within the country. In conclusion, people are not getting enough exercise due to the increase in private and public transportations. However, this can be solved by raising awareness, forcing individuals to do body movements and ask for the government's fund to build more sport facilities.
Nowadays,
many
experts
think
that the community are exercising less. This essay will discuss the two main causes and the possible solutions that will solve this issue.

There are two main reasons why this
behaviour
occurs.
Firstly
, is the easy access to vehicles. Regardless of the distance,
many
people
these days are likely to
use
private cars or public transportations to reach their destination. Due to this, the
body
adjusts to their lack of
body
movements and causes them to be lazier.
Additionally
, the
use
of mobile phones has
greatly
affected
this matter. In 2015,
for instance
, researchers discovered that online applications such as Facebook and Twitter users are the cause for the younger generation to
get
obesities
, as they
generally
spend more than 8 hours on their phone, restricting them to go to the sport facilities.
Therefore
, the accessible modern vehicles and mobile phones are the two main reasons why the community are unlikely to exercise.

Nevertheless
, there are several solutions that can address this issue such as to raise awareness, to force individuals to
move
and to have the
government
's aid. Raising awareness in the society by informing the
effectofobesitiesthroughadvertisementsoftenwillchangethemindsetofthesocietyandallowthemtobe
motivated.
Furthermore
, the community needs to work together to force individual to do
body
movements during office hours or school classes.
Lastly
, as
government
plays a huge role in the
current
society, they will be able to spend more funds to build sport facilities within the country.

In conclusion
,
people
are not getting
enough
exercise due to the increase in private and public transportations.
However
, this can
be solved
by raising awareness, forcing individuals to do
body
movements and
ask for
the
government
's fund to build more sport facilities.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays many countries have very cosmopolitan cities with people from all over the world. How can the government ensure that all these people can live together harmoniously? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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