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Nowadays many business meetings and trainings are happening online and not in real offices. Do you think advantages of this trend outweigh its disadvantages in this matter? v.2

Nowadays many business meetings and trainings are happening online and not in real offices. Do you think advantages of this trend outweigh its disadvantages in this matter? v. 2
Internet has revolunized social, commercial, educational and business sectors. At present, the trend of conducting official meetings through video conferencing is gaining prevalence in the entire globe. As a result, real offices are longer of that importance. Here, I would like to assert that merits of this happening outweigh demerits. There are multifarious pros of this phenomena. First and foremost, online meetings enable entrepreneurs to save their precious time. To demonstrate, earlier, most of business runners had to waste their time while travelling to other places and countries in orders to have official dealings with their counterparts. Nowadays, video conferencing has made it possible for officials to save their valuable time by avoiding travels as video connectivity is just one click away. Hence, the lifestyle of working people is nourished with comforts, relaxation and time saving opportunities. Worldwide connectivity through video conversations allows people to get educational, sports and technical jobs trainings from world class tutors or expertise. Taking a real life example into consideration, I am taking supreme guidance for my Ielts test from topmost trainer Eliza bathe known as Liz via online classes. Thus, the best opportunities to grow can be availed easily. Taking some more benefits into consideration, the reduction in travels made by business class people is surely lucrative to curtail the problems of traffic congestion, air pollution and crowd especially in the metro cities. Consequently, official online interaction has a remarkable contribution in the environment preservation. A hefty sum of money can be saved under the presence of online conferencing. To illustrate, rental offices or establishing official buildings are not required these days due to availability of online services. Therefore, Entrepreneurs are able save their a great deal of finance. On the contrary, opposite wind is also there. To commence with, face to face conversations are considered more effective as everyone involved in the meeting can express his personal feelings, emotions and ideas more openly and freely. On the other hand, it cannot be possible by online meetings. What is more, sometime, it is really difficult to understand or learn technical or educational skills from online trainings in the absence of practical working environment. To recapitulate, undeniably, web connectivity in terms video conferencing has few drawbacks. However, benefits of this practice are weightier than negative outcomes.
Internet has
Possible spelling mistake found.
revolunized
social, commercial, educational and business sectors. At present, the trend of conducting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
official
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meetings
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
conferencing is gaining prevalence in the entire globe.
As a result
, real offices are longer of that importance. Here, I would like to assert that merits of this happening outweigh demerits.

There are multifarious pros of
Did you mean "these"?
this
phenomena.
First
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meetings
enable entrepreneurs to save their precious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. To demonstrate, earlier, most of business runners had to waste their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
while travelling to other places and countries in orders to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
official
dealings with their counterparts. Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
conferencing has made it possible for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
officials
to save their valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
by avoiding travels as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
connectivity is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one click away.
Hence
, the lifestyle of working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
is nourished
with comforts, relaxation and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
saving opportunities. Worldwide connectivity through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
conversations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
educational, sports and technical jobs trainings from world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
tutors or expertise. Taking a real life example into consideration, I am taking supreme guidance for my
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ielts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
from topmost trainer Eliza bathe known as Liz via
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
classes.
Thus
, the best opportunities to grow can
be availed
easily
.

Taking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
more benefits into consideration, the reduction in travels made by business
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
surely
lucrative to curtail the problems of traffic congestion, air pollution and crowd
especially
in the metro cities.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
official
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
interaction has a remarkable contribution in the environment preservation. A hefty sum of money can
be saved
under the presence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
conferencing. To illustrate, rental offices or establishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
official
buildings are not required these days due to availability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
services.
Therefore
, Entrepreneurs are
The preposition 'to' is required in front of the verb 'save'.
able save
Did you mean "there"?
their
a great deal of finance.
On the contrary
, opposite wind is
also
there.

To commence with, face to face conversations
are considered
more effective as everyone involved in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meeting
can express his personal feelings, emotions and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
more
openly
and
freely
.
On the other hand
, it cannot be possible by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meetings
.
What is more
, sometime, it is
really
difficult to understand or learn technical or educational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
trainings in the absence of practical working environment.

To recapitulate,
undeniably
, web connectivity in terms
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
conferencing has few drawbacks.
However
, benefits of this practice are weightier than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
outcomes.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
One who speaks only one language is one person, but one who speaks two languages is two people.
Turkish proverb

IELTS essay Nowadays many business meetings and trainings are happening online and not in real offices. Do you think advantages of this trend outweigh its disadvantages in this matter? v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
381 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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