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Do you think students should have a long break between school years or should they go to school continuously throughout the year? Give specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.2

Do you think students should have a long break between school years or should they go to school continuously throughout the year? Give specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2
Breaks are essential in boosting up one’s actions. However, I do not recommend taking long breaks between school years because the students might lose interest in studies and if affects their future career. Firstly, students can excel in their studies if they attend schools continuously throughout the year. Once they step into the school, they are going to keep the focus on coursework and can immerse completely into their studies. This should be better continued till the end of the year so that it would be easy for students as they are in the flow. For instance, during my sophomore year, I had to take an 8-month break due to my family’s financial issues. And I discontinued studies and worked to sustain myself financially. Once we recovered from the crisis, I enrolled again but this time it was hard for me to concentrate on studies due to the gap, as I had to keep aside my studies completely. It took me a couple of months finally to become more interested in studies. As you see, taking long breaks might tend to lose focus and it’s hard to keep yourself in pace again. Secondly, long breaks can even affect one’s future’s career. Some graduate schools require their applicants not to have breaks in their school life. They just want the students to finish school studies on time. Due to this, students cannot be qualified to apply for their higher studies in such universities. In addition, the reject from such universities might affect the student’s employment opportunities as well. For example, after completing my bachelors, I applied for one of the Ivy League universities. It is tough to get into those universities because of heavy competition and one should have a strong profile to stand out from other pool of applicants. Sadly, I was rejected because of my gap year during my school studies which affected my profile. Also, one of my friends was not recruited at one of the top companies due to her break in school years. Though she has a strong profile, other applicants dominated her in this aspect. Thus, taking long breaks can affect one’s career in many ways. To conclude, taking long breaks in school year would take a lot of time to be focussed again and would definitely impact one’s profile when they apply for higher studies and jobs in this highly competitive world.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Breaks
are essential in boosting up one’s actions.
However
, I do not recommend taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
breaks
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
might lose interest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
and if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
affects
their future career.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can excel in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
if they attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
continuously
throughout the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
. Once they step into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, they are going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the focus on coursework and can immerse completely into their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
. This should be better continued till the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that it would be easy for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
as they are in the flow.
For instance
, during my sophomore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, I had to take an 8-month
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
break
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to my family’s financial issues. And I discontinued
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
and worked to sustain myself
financially
. Once we recovered from the crisis, I enrolled again
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this time it was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for me to concentrate on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the gap, as I had to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
aside my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
completely. It took me a couple of months
finally
to become more interested in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
. As you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
, taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
breaks
might tend to lose focus and it’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
yourself in pace again.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
breaks
can even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
affect
one’s future’s career.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
graduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
require their applicants not to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
breaks
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
life. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
want the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to finish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
on time.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Due
to this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
cannot
be qualified
to apply for their higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
.
In addition
, the reject from such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
might
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
affect
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student’s
employment opportunities
as well
.
For example
, after completing my bachelors, I applied for one of the Ivy League
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
. It is tough to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of heavy competition and one should have a strong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profile
to stand out from other pool of applicants.
Sadly
, I
was rejected
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of my gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
during my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profile
.
Also
, one of my friends was not recruited at one of the top
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
break
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
years. Though she has a strong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profile
, other applicants dominated her in this aspect.
Thus
, taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
breaks
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
affect
one’s career in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways.

To conclude
, taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
breaks
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
would take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time to
be focussed
again and would definitely impact one’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profile
when they apply for higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
and jobs in this
highly
competitive world.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
61Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Do you think students should have a long break between school years or should they go to school continuously throughout the year? Give specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
398 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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