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Nowadays managers and team leaders in different organizations are much younger compared to the past What are the reasons for it Is it a positive or negative development v.2

Nowadays managers and team leaders in different organizations are much younger compared to the past What are the reasons for it Is it a positive or negative development v. 2
Young people are in top position in today’s era than in the past, which is due to the technological development and better knowledge. It has some benefits as well as drawbacks and in this essay, I will elaborate my opinion in more detail. Firstly, young people are aware of most of the new technological knowledge and they are fast learner so they have more capacity than other people. Technological development is the key which is required in the entire sector which helps for more production of goods and services. Secondly, the new generation has greater knowledge due to the social media and the internet which they use from their school days which is helping them to gain more knowledge. Most of the younger people use Google to search for information which is of their interest and whenever they have any problem which helps in finding most of the solution on the internet. For instance, young people use internet technology which helps them to gain more knowledge than in the past days. Finally, young people might fail due to lack of experience which one of the major concerned, however, if they get the right platform to showcase their talent they can be the successful leader. In conclusion, young people should be given better training in their respective field which will increase their performance for their better future in their field.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are in top position in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s era than in the past, which is due to the technological development and better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
. It has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits
as well
as drawbacks and in this essay, I will elaborate my opinion in more detail.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are aware of most of the new technological
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
knowledge and
they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
learner
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they have more capacity than other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Technological development is the key which
is required
in the entire sector which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
for more production of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and services.

Secondly
, the new generation has greater
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
due to the social media and the internet which they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
from their school days which is helping them to gain more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
. Most of the younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
Google to search for information which is of their interest and whenever they have any problem which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in finding most of the solution on the internet.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
internet technology which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to gain more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
than in the past days.

Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might fail due to lack of experience which one of the major concerned,
however
, if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the right platform to showcase their talent they can be the successful leader.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
better training in their respective field which will increase their performance for their better future in their field.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay Nowadays managers and team leaders in different organizations are much younger compared to the past What are the reasons for it Is it a positive or negative development v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
229 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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