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Nowadays managers and team leaders in different organizations are much younger compared to the past What are the reasons for it Is it a positive or negative development v.1

Nowadays managers and team leaders in different organizations are much younger compared to the past What are the reasons for it Is it a positive or negative development v. 1
Undoubtedly, these days, all countries over the world are extremely progressing. It is often argued that both merits and demerits of globalization have to carefully be considered. I fully agree with this fact that although globalization has a lot of advantages, the negative aspect of this matter must be noticed. In turn, this essay will discuss the negative and positive aspects of globalization. On the one hand, the more societies remove their borders, the easier countries can progress. That is to say that if societies eliminate their borders, they can easily improve their economic conditions, thus countries can increase different and main indexes of great life criteria for their peoples. For instance, all countries that are a member of the European Union, have a successful economy in comparison with other countries over the world. In my opinion, the main reason for the progressed countries in the European Union is removed borders, which let these countries to merchandise freely to each other. To sum up, economic development and free exchange of goods as well as a comfortable life are the main advantages of globalization. On the other hand, the more removed borders, the more incurred damages. Some people declared that globalization can be considered as the greatest mistake that government officials can do. Hence, globalized countries can damage extremely. For example, genetic diversity, which is remarkably perilous for genetic resources of countries, can happen only using removed borders. I believe that in some circumstances, globalization can be noticeably harmful for humans. To summarize, some people are of the opinion that globalization can be extremely useful, while others are opposed to this view. I am sure that if government officials are alert, globalization can be valuable in almost always.
Undoubtedly
, these days, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
over the world are
extremely
progressing. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that both merits and demerits of globalization
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
carefully
be considered
. I
fully
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this fact that although globalization has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
advantages, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspect of this matter
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be noticed
. In turn, this essay will discuss the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects of globalization.

On the one hand, the more societies remove their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
borders
, the easier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can progress.
That is
to say that if societies eliminate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
borders
, they can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their economic conditions,
thus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can increase
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
and main indexes of great life criteria for their peoples.
For instance
, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
that are a member of the European Union, have a successful economy
in comparison
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
over the world. In my opinion, the main reason for the progressed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in the European Union
is removed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
borders
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to merchandise
freely
to each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
. To sum up, economic development and free exchange of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
as well
as a comfortable life are the main advantages of globalization.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, the more removed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
borders
, the more incurred damages.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
declared that globalization can
be considered
as the greatest mistake that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
officials can do.
Hence
, globalized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can damage
extremely
.
For example
, genetic diversity, which is
remarkably
perilous for genetic resources of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, can happen
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
using removed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
borders
. I believe that in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
circumstances, globalization can be
noticeably
harmful for humans.

To summarize
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are of the opinion that globalization can be
extremely
useful, while others
are opposed
to this view. I am sure that if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
officials are alert, globalization can be valuable in almost
The adverb 'always' is usually not used at the end of a sentence.
always
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay Nowadays managers and team leaders in different organizations are much younger compared to the past What are the reasons for it Is it a positive or negative development v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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