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It's generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for music and sport, and others are not. However, it's sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. v.10

It's generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for music and sport, and others are not. However, it's sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. v. 10
People have various opinions regarding what truly makes a person a good performer or a talented individual. Some people contend that the talent is a natural gift, whilst others, including myself, have a different opinion since we believe that any person can become an excellent achiever by guidance, dedication and hard work. On the one hand, it is believed that some people are gifted and they naturally master musical instruments or sports as if they had been taught for years. For instance, my son, who is a big fan of football, was admitted to a higher level on his first training session because he could easily perform all the required skills of the previous levels. Had he been trained earlier, he would have joined the club official team. . Therefore, it can be deduced that some people are more talented than others. On the other hand, it can be argued that some people have a passion for a certain leisure activity and it is beneficial that educational institutions and family members exert effort to realize this. An example for this is a questionnaire administered to an American elementary school where the results revealed that around 75% of the students master playing different musical devices after rigorous training by their music teachers. Accordingly, it can be argued that hobbies can be taught as well as being a natural talent. Having manifested the aforementioned points of view and examples, it can be recapitulated that people can either learn to play music or sports, or they can be naturally talented. However, in my humble opinion, both cases should receive guided training, encouragement and an appropriate environment to perform efficiently. It is recommended that the governments should invest more to add extra skills to the students apart from education.
People
have various opinions regarding what
truly
makes
a person a
good
performer or a talented individual.
Some
people
contend that the talent is a natural gift, whilst others, including myself, have a
different
opinion since we believe that any person can become an excellent achiever by guidance, dedication and
hard
work.

On the one hand, it
is believed
that
some
people
are
gifted and
they
naturally
master musical instruments or sports as if they had
been taught
for years.
For instance
, my son, who is a
big
fan of football,
was admitted
to a higher level on his
first
training session
because
he could
easily
perform all the required
skills
of the previous levels. Had he
been trained
earlier, he would have
joined
the club official team.
.
Therefore
, it can
be deduced
that
some
people
are more talented than others.

On the other hand
, it can
be argued
that
some
people
have a passion for a certain leisure activity and it is beneficial that educational institutions and family members exert effort to realize this. An example for this is a questionnaire administered to an American elementary school where the results revealed that around 75% of the students master playing
different
musical devices after rigorous training by their music teachers.
Accordingly
, it can
be argued
that hobbies can
be taught
as well
as being a natural talent.

Having manifested the aforementioned points of view and examples, it can
be recapitulated
that
people
can either learn to play music or sports, or they can be
naturally
talented.
However
, in my humble opinion, both cases should receive guided training, encouragement and an appropriate environment to perform
efficiently
. It
is recommended
that the
governments
should invest more to
add
extra
skills
to the students apart from education.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay It's generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for music and sport, and others are not. However, it's sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. v. 10

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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