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Logging of the rain forests is a serious problem and it may lead to the extinction of animal life and human life. To what extent to you agree of disagree? v.3

Logging of the rain forests is a serious problem and it may lead to the extinction of animal life and human life. v. 3
Many people argue that with the increase in human’s demands and the development of technologies, it is necessary for manufacturing new products after being tested on animals. I partly agree with previously mentioned perspective. To start with, there are two main reasons that make people agree with this opinion. There’s no doubt that realistic tests are essential for people to understand how animals react toward the product. This could probably help them to have some certain adjustments such as cure or medical breakthroughs to reduce the negative effects on human beings. In addition, human’s safety is obviously prioritized. For thousand years, men have contributed to the world’s development in many ways. So animals should sacrifice for this sake of a greater creature, which also help in the world’s innovation. However, in the digital era, I personally think that computer simulations are a possible alternative of animal tests. With the exact data, computer now can predict the reaction of human toward products with high accuracy, especially in transportation. Moreover, in the moral aspect, animals are not to be experienced to dead In some ways, animals should have rights as they help to keep biodiversity which can make the world become better in technological and modern ways. Therefore, they shouldn’t be treated like that. In conclusion, this perspective is still a controversial problem. Some people believe that animals should be tested for human’s safety while others does not. In my opinion, if technology is available, products should not be tested on animals but on modern devices.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that with the increase in
Possible typo. Did you mean: "human demands"?
human’s demands
and the development of technologies, it is necessary for manufacturing new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
after being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tested
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. I partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with previously mentioned perspective.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, there are two main reasons that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion. There’s no doubt that realistic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
are essential for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to understand how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
react toward the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
. This could
probably
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
certain adjustments such as cure or medical breakthroughs to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human’s
safety is
obviously
prioritized. For
Use "a thousand" or use a number before 'thousand'.
thousand
years,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
have contributed to the world’s development in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
should sacrifice for this sake of a greater creature, which
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in the world’s innovation.

However
, in the digital era, I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that computer simulations are a possible alternative of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
. With the exact data, computer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
can predict the reaction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
toward
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
with high accuracy,
especially
in transportation.
Moreover
, in the moral aspect,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are not to
be experienced
to dead In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ways,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
should have rights as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
biodiversity which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the world become better in technological and modern ways.
Therefore
, they shouldn’t
be treated
like that.

In conclusion
, this perspective is
still
a controversial problem.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tested
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human’s
safety while others does not. In my opinion, if technology is available,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tested
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
on modern devices.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Logging of the rain forests is a serious problem and it may lead to the extinction of animal life and human life. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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