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Nowadays, international tourism is the biggest industry in the world unfortunately it creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.2

Nowadays, international tourism is the biggest industry in the world unfortunately it creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures. with this opinion? v. 2
Presently, tourism is the major income source for each and every nation and there are many countries which mainly dependent on tourism. I believe that, there are no any difficulties occurred regarding people' s cultures and their thought process. So here i will outline what are the benefits of tourism and how this industry became large. Firstly, due to globalization international tourism has been flourished by exploring new places is the popular trend among tourist. Internet has made it possible. International media promotes new places and for visitors. Secondly many countries are encouraging tourism by developing some places. In fact some countries are particularly focusing on their tourist and tourist places by providing pleasant experience. For example, Dubai has made some rules for encouraging tourism by applying trade free zone and Also made some strict laws for managing ease. Moreover some countries have designed some places for tourism only, like Singapore and Switzerland. consequently this countries are developed countries. On the other side, Some people believes that it creates tension for understanding different cultures for local citizens as well as among visitors. If it is happened then there is no any countries promotes their tourism. International language like English has became popular for communication among people who comes from different regions. In fact it helps to know their culture and their tradition. Many underdeveloped countries have come up with encouraging their tourism. Tourism is the best way to grow economy. To sum up, Tourism is the easy way to boost country' s economy. I think of understanding different cultures is not a major issue as far as tourism concern.
Presently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
is the major income source for each and every nation and there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
which
mainly
dependent on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
. I believe that, there are
Did you mean "now" (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
no
any difficulties occurred regarding
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s cultures and their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
process.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
here
Did you mean "I"?
i
will outline what are the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
and how this industry became large.

Firstly
, due to globalization international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
has
been flourished
by exploring new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
is the popular trend among tourist. Internet has made it possible. International media promotes new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
and for visitors.
Secondly


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
by developing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
. In fact
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are
particularly
focusing on their tourist and tourist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
by providing pleasant experience.
For example
, Dubai has made
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
for encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
by applying trade free zone and
Also
made
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
strict laws for managing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have designed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
, like Singapore and Switzerland.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
consequently
Did you mean "these"?
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
.

On the other side,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
believes
that it creates tension for understanding
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures for local citizens
as well
as among visitors. If it
is happened
then there is
Did you mean "now" (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
no
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
promotes their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
. International language like English has
Use past participle here: "become".
became
popular for communication among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
Did you mean "come"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'people' should be used.
comes
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
regions. In
The comma is probably missing here: "fact, it".
fact it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to know their culture and their tradition.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
underdeveloped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with encouraging their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Tourism
is the best way to grow economy.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Tourism
is the easy way to boost
Possible spelling mistake found.
country&
#039; s economy. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of understanding
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
cultures


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
is
not a major issue as far as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
concern.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays, international tourism is the biggest industry in the world unfortunately it creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures. with this opinion? v. 2

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
269 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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