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Learning to play team sports is an important part of child's education. Do you agree or disagree. Include relevant examples from your own experience. v.1

Learning to play team sports is an important part of child's education. Include relevant examples from your own experience. v. 1
Sports which are play along with teams plays a vital role in the lives of children. These sports activities are essential for child' s personality development as a kid learns about teamwork and coordination. I totally agree that child must learn team sports for educational and personal growth. First and foremost, play a game along with other participants develops the sense of cooperation. In other words, each player in the team is assign with a set of responsibilities to achieve a common goal and other companions are bound to be cooperate to achieve a common goal. Same scenario applies when students work in academic project. Each student is assigned with the task such as presentation and documentation. They share thoughts with each other’s. Subsequently, they come up with good grades after project submission. Therefore, knowledge a child acquire via team sports is pivotal in education. Secondly, sports which are play in the group tend to be more challenging and require techniques. These technicalities help in brain development of child and enhance the ability to think out of the box. For instance, a student who plays the cricket can have higher logical tendency as he decides what shot he should play under different fielding criteria to win the game. In addition, learning these skills produce the leadership qualities in the person which one can utilize at career stage. To conclude, team sports provide an environment where student can learn group work strategies which directs helps in mind development. Thus, it is recommended for students to learn group sports.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sports
which are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
along with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teams
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plays
a vital role in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of children. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
activities are essential for
Possible spelling mistake found.
child&
#039; s personality development as a kid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learns
about teamwork and coordination. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
for educational and personal growth.

First
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
a game along with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
participants develops the sense of cooperation. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, each player in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
is assign with a set of responsibilities to achieve a common goal and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
companions
are bound
to be
Consider using a past participle here: "cooperated".
cooperate
to achieve a common goal. Same scenario applies when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
work in academic project. Each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
is assigned
with the task such as presentation and documentation. They share thoughts with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other’s
.
Subsequently
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
grades after project submission.
Therefore
, knowledge a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
acquire via
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
is pivotal in education.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
which are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
in the group tend to be more challenging and require techniques. These technicalities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in brain development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
and enhance the ability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
out of the box.
For instance
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plays
the cricket can have higher logical tendency as he decides what shot he should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
under
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
fielding criteria to win the game.
In addition
, learning these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
produce the leadership qualities in the person which one can utilize at career stage.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
provide an environment where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
group work strategies which directs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in mind development.
Thus
, it
is recommended
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Learning to play team sports is an important part of child's education. Include relevant examples from your own experience. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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