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Some people believe that in the near future there will be no borders between countries, while others feel that national borders will always remain. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion. v.3

On the one hand, optimistic people desire that in the not-so-distant future there will be dissolution of borders between countries, on the other hand, others, as me, consider it is impossible. A number of people think that there should not be borders among countries and in the future that's exactly what will happen. It will possible due to Globalisation process which the world is becoming increasingly interconnected as a result of massively increased trade and cultural exchange. In additional, the growing interdependence of the world’s economies, cultures and populations, brought about by cross-border trade in goods and services, technology, people and information also help to this. Countries which have no borders between them and hence people can travel freely. Others claim that in the coming years borderless world is improbable due to international crimes along the borders. It makes difficult to creat unit world according to various neighbour countries which have no friendly relationships and occupied other territory. Beside that, borders prevent demographic explosion and keep under control the population of each country. Moreover, unlimited mobility would boost the number of immigrants to "rich" countries and as a result, can cause rising to a global demographic unbalance. I can also say that, every nation has own tradition and even today, about 97 percent of the world's people live in the country where they were born and attached to their countries. In conclusion, while a lot of people hope that in the future there will no borders, but I agree with who claim the opposite. Because disappear borders can gained to us more drawbacks than benefits.
On the one hand, optimistic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
desire that in the not-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
-distant future there will be dissolution of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
borders
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
on the other hand
, others, as me, consider it is impossible.

A number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that there should not be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
borders
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and in the future that's exactly what will happen. It
The word ‘possible’ is a noun or an adjective. A verb or adverb is missing or misspelled here, or maybe a comma is missing.
will possible
due to
Possible spelling mistake. ‘Globalisation’ is British English.
Globalisation
process which the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
is becoming
increasingly
interconnected
as a result
of
massively
increased trade and cultural exchange. In additional, the growing interdependence of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world’s
economies, cultures and populations, brought about by cross-border trade in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and services, technology,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and information
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to this.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Countries
which have no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
borders
between them and
hence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can travel
freely
.

Others claim that in the coming years borderless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
is improbable due to international crimes along the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
borders
. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
difficult to
Possible spelling mistake found.
creat
unit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
according to various
Possible spelling mistake. ‘neighbour’ is British English.
neighbour
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
which have no friendly relationships and occupied other territory.
Did you mean “besides” (= apart from that) which is commonly used to start a sentence?
Beside
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
borders
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
demographic explosion and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
under control the population of each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Moreover
, unlimited mobility would boost the number of immigrants to
Use a smart opening quote here.
"
rich
Use a smart closing quote here.
"
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and
as a result
, can cause rising to a global demographic unbalance. I can
also
say that, every nation has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
tradition and even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, about 97 percent of the world's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
where they
were born
and attached to their countries.

In conclusion
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
hope that in the future there will no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
borders
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with who claim the opposite.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
disappear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
borders
can gained to us more drawbacks than benefits.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that in the near future there will be no borders between countries, while others feel that national borders will always remain.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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