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Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like football, while other people think that taking part in individual sports, like tennis or swimming, is better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.13

Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like football, while other people think that taking part in individual sports, like tennis or swimming, is better. v. 13
Exercise is a very useful tool for a good health in today polluted and fast lifestyle. Sports is a great exercise for being a healthy person. Some people think that it's provide an advantage when you take part in sports as a team, as it gives a moral support to each player. On the contrary, they are many who think that taking part in individual sports may boost your confidence and other interpersonal skills. In this essay, I will describe both views in detail, and then conclude it with my opinion. On one hand, when people think about sports, they probably first imagine some kind of team sports like, football, cricket etc. They are by far the most popular sports, and we often watch them on TV or other internet forums. As play these kind of sports helps children to build a mutual understanding between them, and they also developed a helpful nature. There communication skills are also going to be improved. These all skills help to serve them well in their professional and personal life's as teenagers and then adults. On the other hand, players of individual sports will not get these benefits. In particular, they will get some benefit from their chosen sport. In sports like golf, tennis, people learn valuable lessons. They will learn determination and self-reliance, as well as improve their ability to concentrate for so long, it also helps them to build self-confidence to deal every kind of problem occurs in daily routine. Although, the ability to work as a team is considered the most important and valuable talents in business and in other fields, individual and self-motivation is also a key to success, which is required in a peaceful life. In conclusion, all sports offers different benefits; however, in my opinion, sports which was played in the team are probably more useful than those done by individuals because the benefits which they required are slightly more valuable in the wider-world.
Exercise is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful tool for a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
health in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
polluted and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
lifestyle.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sports
is a great exercise for being a healthy person.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it's provide an advantage when you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
, as it gives a moral support to each player.
On the contrary
, they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that taking part in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
may boost your confidence and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
interpersonal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. In this essay, I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
both views in detail, and then conclude it with my opinion.

On one hand, when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, they
probably
first
imagine
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
like, football, cricket etc. They are by far the most popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, and we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
them on TV or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
internet forums. As play
Did you mean "this kind" or "these kinds"?
these kind
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
children to build a mutual understanding between them, and they
also
developed a helpful nature. There communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
are
also
going to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
. These all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to serve them well in their professional and personal life's as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
and then adults.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, players of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
.
In particular
, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
from their chosen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
like golf, tennis,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
learn valuable lessons. They will learn determination and self-reliance,
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their ability to concentrate for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
long, it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to build self-confidence to deal every kind of problem occurs in daily routine. Although, the ability to work as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
is considered
the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and valuable talents in business and in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
fields,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
and self-motivation is
also
a key to success, which
is required
in a peaceful life.

In conclusion
, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
offers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
;
however
, in my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
which
was played
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
are
probably
more useful than those done by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
which they required are
slightly
more valuable in the wider-world.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like football, while other people think that taking part in individual sports, like tennis or swimming, is better. v. 13

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
326 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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