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When designing a building, the most important factor is the intended use of the building rather than its outward appearance. To what extent do you agree? v.5

When designing a building, the most important factor is the intended use of the building rather than its outward appearance. v. 5
It is a controversial issue as to whether people would focus on the design of, construction of the inner structure of the building, or, whether they should concentrate on the exterior beauty. From my perspective, I completely agree that building should be structured, accurate design which would fulfil the purpose of that house instead of emphasizing its outlook. To begin with, when people design a building, they think, at first, its outward design. The reason is that the outstanding architectural design outside enhances the status, and differentiates the purpose of building the monument. For example, studies have shown that commercial spaces such as shopping malls are spectacular to look at which serves the motive not only to get more customers but also to earn more profit. Besides that, people could easily come to know at a glance what is the goal of the owner behind designing the building magnificently. Thus, the object that a building designer chooses regarding outward appearance, is worthwhile. In contrast, most of the designers have the significant purpose of constructing a building that would serve the purpose of the owners. This is because if the entrepreneur buys any office which is unable to serve the purpose, for instance, the space is neither measured correctly to make room for employers, nor the position of all spaces executes the purpose, such as the kitchen is smaller than the bathroom, or there is no space for Godown, it will be useless for the owner to purchase it. The interior structure has a great significance regardless of the exterior beautiful outlook. In conclusion, if the constructor constructs a building, he must think of its inner structure to manage all the tasks, which should be the main aim, I would think, of a builder, despite giving the importance on the magnificence of the building.
It is a controversial issue
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether", or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to".
as to whether
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would focus on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
design
of, construction of the inner structure of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
, or, whether they should concentrate on the exterior beauty. From my perspective, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
should
be structured
, accurate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
design
which would fulfil the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purpose
of that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
instead
of emphasizing its outlook.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
design
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, at
first
, its outward
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
design
. The reason is that the outstanding architectural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
design
outside enhances the status, and differentiates the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purpose
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
the monument.
For example
, studies have shown that commercial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spaces
such as shopping malls are spectacular to look at which serves the motive not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more customers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to earn more profit.
Besides
that,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
could
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to know at a glance what is the goal of the owner behind designing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
magnificently
.
Thus
, the object that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
designer chooses regarding outward appearance, is worthwhile.

In contrast
, most of the designers have the significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purpose
of constructing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
that would serve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purpose
of the owners. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if the entrepreneur
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buys
any office which is unable to serve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purpose
,
for instance
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
is neither measured
correctly
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
room for employers, nor the position of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spaces
executes the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purpose
, such as the kitchen is smaller than the bathroom, or there is no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
for
Possible spelling mistake found.
Godown
, it will be useless for the owner to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
it. The interior structure has a great significance regardless of the exterior
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
outlook.

In conclusion
, if the constructor constructs a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of its inner structure to manage all the tasks, which should be the main aim, I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, of a builder, despite giving the importance on the magnificence of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay When designing a building, the most important factor is the intended use of the building rather than its outward appearance. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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